Shades of Gray

Love is kind. Love is selfless. Love is beautiful. Love is perfect. Love is never ending. Love means a happy ever after.

Or at least, that is what love is supposed to be like. Our idea of love is shaped by what we see on the big screen, by what we read on social media, and by what we hear in songs.

These portray the cliche story of boy meets girl, girl meets girl, or boy meets boy, etc.. They fall in love against all odds, they face one challenge, they get out of it stronger, and then they live happily after. You do not get to see what comes after.

Love is sacrifices. Love is understanding. Love is patience. Not everything is black and white, good and evil.

An example can be seen with cheating. I do not condone cheating but that is not always what it seems. It can come from a place of doubt, of depression, of lack of confidence.It does not always happen because the other person is trapped or because you are not enough.

If it happens various times then no, get rid of that person; but if it happens once then sit down your partner. Ask them why and what exactly happened. Finally, ask them if they really love you and if they see a future together. If it is a no then the end has come, but if he answers yes, then work it out. Talk to each other and open up. Work on it together.

True love is a lot of hard work and small arguments. At first it is not easy. Letting go of the pain you felt when you found out what happened seems impossible, but it is not. It takes work. Trust does not come back like a volley ball but it takes time and commitment to regain.

Remember YOU ARE ENOUGH, more than enough. Love is not perfect; it is personal and different for everyone. Never think that he cheated because of you. That is the first mistake. When they cheat it is because of them and how they are feeling. I am not romanticizing it at all.

YOU ARE NOT WEAK for giving them another chance.

Fight for what you believe in. If you want to hate the person who helped them cheat then hate them, but leave them in the past. Live in the present and work on the future.

True love is hard, but it is worth. Do not let others dictate what love is. Only you know what true love is for you. We are all different. Our experience with love is subjective.

I am sorry if you opened this believing it was something about coitus or about the infamous novel. I never meant to deceive.

Love is not black and white. It has several shades of gray and other colors. Yes, it is beautiful, but it comes with the ugly too. Love is real.

On a side note: if you are helping someone cheat then rethink it, because you are worth more than being just the other woman or being a homewrecker. Would you like it if the love of your life cheated on you? I do not think so. Do not give what you do not want to get. If you have done it then you have, but you will find someone who loves you, who does not just use you.

This comes from a place of forgiveness and hope. It is important to forgive and move on. It is never worth getting stuck. Everyone deserves to be loved and to be treated like gold.

Just like Rupaul says, if you can’t love yourself then how can you expect others to love you? Love yourself, be kind, forgive, and do not judge what you do not understand. Just remember love takes work but when the work is put in then you will be so happy. Never give up on what you believe in.

Life is too short to stay stuck in the past.