She Can, He Can

So me, my Mom, and my sister were on our way home and talking about cutting beards or whatever and I brought up how stupid it was for some women to ask their partner to shave a beard they clearly love having. I didn’t mean they shouldn’t ask, but just hear me out.

When a man asks his lady to cut her hair, nine times out of ten they shoot back with the, “I’m an independent woman, I don’t need no man,” bull crap and basically tell him he shouldn’t try to change or control her… blah blah blah, even though it’s socially acceptable to make him shave his beard or cut his hair. I pointed out how stupid and honestly degrading some women can be when they are honestly being hypocritical, and my mom looked a bit surprised when I nearly shouted that if women wanted a man to treat them like a queen, they should in return treat him like a king, because they truly get the short end of the stick in these debates.

I wanted everyone to remember that even though Disney hasn’t released a Prince whose happily after is just as important, our sons should be able to be the Princely counterparts they deserve to be. Men deserve to have the same things we do and can be hurt just like we can. Men can be victims, men can be kings.

I’m just reminding everyone of something they seem to forget; If you ask him to do something that changes or controls him, and he says no, don’t get offended when he does the same. Don’t strive for an “equality” that deems you the greater person. Be humble, ladies, because equal means equal.

Okay, And?

Women have come farther than any in history could have imagined. We work, fight, vote, speak, and in turn, are listened to and admired. We have improved life for ourselves and though it is not perfect, we must face the obvious facts; we have become significantly stronger and more powerful as a gender in the past 100 years.

Still. Women are suspected to fit the mold of feminism. She must be curvy, she must be skinny, she must have a meek temperament, she must be a spitfire. She must, she must, she...

We fight it everyday, and will probably do so for a very long time to come. Still, we have come to a point in time that if we are mistreated, many will come to our aid.

What about men?

No, really. What about men.

They've been stuck in their own mold: Masculinity. They must be fit, they must be clean, they must be brave, loyal, etc. A man is supposed to bold, confident, tall, and sexy.

But life isn't like that. You can't order the perfect male or female like a meal off a menu. Not every woman is a sexy seductress and not every man is an eye catching Adonis. Men are not the sexy, mysterious Christian or the impossible Prince Charming Disney portrays them as. Just like how we aren't the Disney Princesses, even though we really want that waistline and amazing voice.

Also, I want to point out that as we come closer and closer to the conclusion of my argument, I want everyone to realize that men can be mistreated.

Loving Dads lose their children to uncaring mothers in unfair custody battles. Just like women.

Kind boyfriends and husbands are hit, mistreated, sexually abused, and talked down to. Just like women.

Men are victims. Men are human, and therefore bleed and ache and cry. It's not something to be ignored or ashamed of and yet their experiences are dismissed on the simple argument of:

"He's a man, he can take it." And:

"What a liar. That doesn't happen to men."

I will be perfectly honest in my response: They clearly don't know, so you clearly shouldn't listen to them.

The people who say these things have either never experienced such things, or are the abusers. Don't let these mindless words deter you from realizing that men are human and can be abused.

So, What?

What I'm getting at is we can't keep putting men on a pedestal. Yes, I'm talking to the women here. Ladies, they aren't that steamy, sexy book character or that perfect "YES" man you dreamt about, but that's who we got, so you just gotta accept 'em. Sorry, not sorry. Men can be abused mentally, physically, and sexually. It doesn't make them any less of a man. It makes them human.

To the men, stop running in circles. No, you're not perfect. No, you might not have the abs or the money or the girl, but that's not something you should worry about. Maybe you're not the perfect male specimen and you've been dealt a bad deck. You can be hurt, too. You can be a victim, but you can also be a king.

To every abused man, who is ashamed to admit he is a victim, I remind you that strength is not always in your muscles or your ability to take the lead. No, strength is perseverance and choosing what's best for you, even when everyone else thinks otherwise. Strength is choosing yourself when no one else will. It's choosing change and choosing a better life.

Choose to be the king. Choose to be happy in your skin. It's what every good person wants for you and what everyone wants for themselves.

If He can, She can, too. If She can, He can, too.

Equality starts with you.