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Sometimes relationships can be saved, sometimes they can't. But knowing when to fight for your relationship and when to walk away can be difficult. You may have invested a lot of time and effort, but there are times when walking away is the best possible option for you.
Never stay with a violent person, if your partner starts to hit you then you need to get out as quickly as you can. Find somewhere safe, look for a refuge or go to the police station. They will not change and suddenly turn into a nicer person, the more likely scenario is that the violence will get worse, you need to get out of there before it does. There is no grey area in abuse, it is wrong and you need to get out as soon as possible.
Control And Verbal Abuse
This often comes before the violence, many abusers start with verbal abuse and then move on to physical violence when the verbal abuse isn't having the same impact anymore. Verbal abuse includes name calling, threats, shouting in your face, and any attempts to undermine you and your confidence. Many abusers will do this in front of others as they like to humiliate their victim as much as possible. If your partner is verbally abusive then you need to leave, you don't deserve to be treated like that.
The Circle of Violence
A Lack Of Respect
If someone does not listen to you or care about your opinion, then no matter what they say, they don't respect you! If they make decisions that affect you without consulting you, the same applies. You have every right to be respected in a relationship, and if this is not happening then you need to get out.
I'm not talking about hiding the odd credit card bill because they had a bit of a splurge, I am talking about big, life altering secrets. Things like having a child you weren't told about or having an STD they have given you. Keeping major secrets like this shows a massive lack of respect for you.
You Want To Change Them/They Want To Change You
If you want to change them, why are you with them? You should be with them for who they are, not who you want them to be. If you find yourself constantly trying to change them, then you shouldn't be with them. The same applies to them, if they seem to want to change who you are as a person then you need to leave.
You Do Everything
Day to day chores are boring, but they need to be done, and they need to be done by both parties. If you find yourself doing all of the chores and going to work everyday then you are being taken for granted. Talk to them about it and if nothing changes, then I would recommend getting out, relationships should be about splitting the hard work 50-50, it's not fair for one person to do everything in a relationship.
Some people can forgive someone for cheating once, that's entirely up to them, but if someone is cheating on you on a regular basis then it is time to walk away, you deserve better than this. They clearly don't care about your feelings and they don't value you as a partner because they repeatedly betray you.
Leaving a relationship can be hard, but if any of these things apply then it will definitely be for the best. You deserve to be in a relationship that makes you happy, not one that you feel trapped in.