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Should I Leave My Boyfriend or Girlfriend?

When It’s Time to Pack Your Bags and Get Out Fast

Sometimes I am really glad that I don’t drive yet and I have to take the bus. You get to hear some of the weirdest, most intense, and funniest conversations.

The conversation I heard yesterday falls under the intense category with weird undertones.

There were two young girls, about 19 or 20 years old sitting near the back. I was behind them, I always sit at the back so nobody can sit behind me. It freaks me out.

Anyway, these two girls (girl A and girl B) were talking about an argument girl A had with her boyfriend last night.

During the argument, her boyfriend had pinned her up against the wall by her throat, called her a slut, and told her never to question him again. She asked her friend, “Should I just leave him?” I couldn’t actually believe what I was hearing! Especially when girl B replied, “Well, he didn’t really hurt you. If he’d hurt you properly I would say yes, but I reckon you’re alright.”

What Did I Just Hear?

I sat there for a while in a stunned silence, just wondering what the hell kind of shitty advice that was. And I was also stunned at the fact that girl A even had to ask if she should leave someone who pins her to the wall by her throat, calls her names, and demands unquestioning obedience.

I won’t lie to you, I’m worried about that girl. So if you’re her and you’re reading this, please LEAVE HIM NOW! Just grab your stuff and go. And for anyone else of any gender reading this, wondering whether to stay or not; let me give you a list of things that mean you should be running away as fast as you can.

Physical Abuse

It shouldn't hurt men or women.

If your partner deliberately physically hurts you in any way, then you need to leave. It’s for your own good. It doesn’t matter how sorry they say they are because they’re not and they will do it again. If someone can hit you once, they can do it again. This kind of behaviour doesn’t get better, it gets much worse.

I would always recommend contacting the police if your partner has been violent towards you.

If you are worried about where to go then look online for local domestic violence shelters. Or you can ask the police where to go. They are trained in these situations and will be able to advise you of somewhere safe to stay.

Psychological Abuse

So many people will put up with being psychologically abused. And there are a few reasons for this. Sometimes it’s because they don’t know that they are being psychologically abused because they haven’t been told that this is a legitimate form of abuse. Sometimes it is because they have been so worn down by their abuser that they begin to believe that they deserve this kind of abuse. And sadly, sometimes their confidence is just so low that because they aren’t being physically hurt, that’s enough for them to stay.

Nobody should have to put up with psychological abuse, but we focus so much on physical abuse that we don’t educate people on what psychological abuse is.

Signs of Psychological Abuse:

  • Humiliation
  • Name Calling
  • Shouting
  • Belittling
  • Insults
  • Threats
  • Control
  • Monitoring/Spying
  • Financial Abuse
  • Guilt
  • Isolating You
  • Destroying Your Property
  • Forcing you to do things you’re not comfortable with.

Cheating

If someone cheats on you, then they don’t love you. I’m sorry if this bursts your bubble, but they don’t. If someone genuinely did love you, then they wouldn’t physically be able to cheat. The thought of your broken heart would be too much for them if they really loved you.

If your partner cheats then they clearly have no respect for you and what is the point of being in a relationship without respect?

Should I Leave?

If you’re thinking of ending your relationship, then consider this anonymous quote: “If they’re always apologizing, they’re not changing.” This should give you the clarification that you need.

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