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Signs of Fake Friends

Have you ever had a friend who turned out to be fake? Did he/she give no signs of interest about you? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

I'm sure, sometime in your life, you came to the point when you lost a friend over an argument, or you simply just realised that he/she is not really the friend you need. Let me ensure you that every single person on earth have/had at least one or two friend like this in their life. 

People change over time—after few months, sometimes even after a couple of days—and they will get comfortable and show their true colours. We can't really do anything about it. We just need to accept that some people are just not for us.

Just think about it this way: when you first meet someone new and start to have a conversation with them, you show a side of yourself that doesn't say a lot about you. You share small things about yourself, like where you're from and what your dog's name is, but you will never start to talk about how you went through rough times. You're wearing a 'mask.' You're hiding a side of you that is not ready to be shown yet. It doesn't mean that you're playing a character, you're just not comfortable enough to let people in yet and see who you truly are. 

This is the case with most people too. Nobody is showing everything about themselves for the first time. It takes them time to trust you and open-up. Sometimes they can turn out to be the most understanding people and you can have a good, healthy relationship with them, but, occasionally, it will just make you realise that they are not meant to be part of your life. People can turn out to be the exact opposite of what you had expected of them, and they might be with you just for their own benefits. They might look at you as an opportunity to get themselves further in their job or in life. Here are some signs that they may be using you: 

They don't spend time with you.

They don't actually spend their free time with you, unless they have to. They don't look at you as a friend to hang out with, and even if they do, it's only for a short time. (And the topic will only be about you if it's your failure). Most of the time they will find an excuse to turn you down.

They will be close by if something bad happens.

Not in the sense of helping you get through it, but rather just to know every detail about your problems. They will pretend to care and feel sorry for you, but it's all about getting information about you and your life. Let's say your boss wants to give a promotion, but you have to do a presentation about how you would be the perfect person for the job, or he gives you work to do that's related to your new position. You work on it, but also come across some difficulties. For help, you will talk to your friend, and as soon as he/she sees that you're in trouble, instead of helping you get through it and work it out, they will try to talk you out of it. There will be sentences like, "If you can't work out this little problem, how will you work out others?" They will make you feel weak and vulnerable, and that will make you give up at some point. You didn't get the promotion? They will 'feel sorry for you,' but they also will be the next ones to work to get it. 

They don't share their life.

You might know where they grew up or what they graduated with, but there will be nothing specific. They will not share their love life, dreams and fears with you because they know that you can use them against them. They will ask about your life just to get your trust and make you think that you can count on them at any time. 

They talk about others' failures.

If all they talk about are others and their failures, it means that they do the same thing about you. They try to make people seem like that they are not worth it. They will never say anything that others have achieved in their life, or even if they do, they will make it seem like that they didn't deserve it. They do this out of jealousy, they want to get better than anyone. In their opinion, they are the only ones who deserve to get that 'first slice of cake.' They might want to make you believe that the other person is wrong and went behind everyone's back to get the opportunity, while, on the other hand, it's them who is trying to stab everyone in the back.

It's hard to define these people before you get close to them. All you can do about it is really get to know them before opening up and trusting them. It might be painful and hard when you realise that one your friend is not really your friend. You thought that people would always be there for you, but as time passes, you will realise that some people are just not meant to be in your life. They will not change for you, no matter how much you want them to or what they promise to you. You will realise that you don't need them in your life, and you will be better without them. Just be careful who you let close and what you share with others. 

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