Signs You're in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

I would like to give some background about myself before I start this. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for nine months. He would constantly try to control me, and when I was in the psychiatric unit, he would leave messages on my phone saying that if I didn't respond, he said that that would be the same as breaking up with him. He seemed like such a nice guy. It was months after he left me for me to realize that he was emotionally abusing me for almost the entire time I was with him. They are harmless, charming, sweet, and trustworthy, but that's not always the case. Here are some signs that you may be in one, too.

This list is all based on my experience, and I just want to say that emotional abuse is just as bad as any other abuse, and should not be taken lightly. There is a way out of every bad relationship, and those of you in one, or just recently left one, you are not alone.

1. They are insisting for your passwords.

This is one of the ways they want to keep an eye out on you. They insist on you giving them your passwords to your phone, email, whatever, and their reason is that you should give it to them, because if you don't, you obviously don't trust them.

2. They threaten to leave you when things don't go their way.

You know that thing you don't want to go to, or that thing you don't want to do? If you don't want that, and they know, they will say that they will leave you if you don't bend to their will, and they will continue to do that until you give in.

3. They have a constant need to put you down.

You have a beautiful dress in your closet that you've been dying to wear to your cousin's wedding. You put it on, you feel wonderful, and then he comes around and says, "You sure you wanna wear that? Makes you look awful fat, doesn't it?" You then start to cry, take the dress off, and end up not going, and the cycle repeats.

4. They always get mad when you refuse them something minor.

They ask you do to something, but you say that you don't want to do that. They get all pissy and mad and won't talk to you for a good while. "I'll get so and so to do it. They'll do anything for me" and they will keep saying that until you "come around."

5. They control who your friends are... if they feel like you can have any.

So you have a male best friend that you've known since you guys were 5. Your boyfriend doesn't like him. Why? Because he is a guy. So he tells you that he doesn't want you to see him anymore. But, when you suggest the same, he gets all offended and says "NO."

6. I'm not sure what to call this next one. I don't want to call it cheating because they are only doing it to spite you.

He has a lot of girl friends. He is very friendly with them, and calls them "boo" and "baby" and all sorts of pet names, and sometimes in front of you. Then you get upset, and they have the audacity to ask why.

7. They will make you feel uncomfortable whenever, wherever.

You did some things the night before, and you want to keep them private between you and your partner, but they have different plans. They start talking to your friends about the night before, and you are shifting uncomfortably in your seat, and they know this is making you feel uneasy. You ask them to not talk about it, but they just ignore you and keep going.

8. They use suicide as way to keep you around.

You don't feel happy in your relationship, and you want to leave. You let them know that it is not working out for you and that you want to leave, but they all of a sudden "can't live without you," and threaten to kill themselves if you leave them.