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Single Is Okay

Single Does Not Mean Miserable

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Single life is a unique experience.  Being single can be fun, but it can also be annoying. Rest assured that although you are single it does not mean that you are miserable.

Society has taught us that being single in your thirties indicates that you are miserable. This idea that being single in your thirties means that you are miserable is a farce and very unreasonable. This ideal has caused many of us that are in the 30 and over club to stress over finding the ideal mate and settling down before we reach 40.

Being single at 30 is not a bad thing at all. For those that are wondering about my train of thought, I have a few suggestions as to why being single at thirty does not mean you are miserable.

In your twenties you are finding yourself and entering into a new career. Many of us have graduated from college and are finding jobs that pertain to our degrees, while many of us may be trying to find out who we are as an adult.  Some of us are even finding ourselves sexually. 

In our twenties, we experiment with various elements of what we like, who we like, and what we want out life. This is a time of self discovery and self exploration. While some of your twenty year old peers have gotten married, that may not be the path for you.

Once we reach thirty, we have come into our own being and we have found ourselves. Entering in to Club Thirty, we are now focused on our future and finding that special mate that can complement us and not drain the life out of us.

Many of us in our thirties have discovered through our experiences in our twenties, that dating can be exhausting. We have to deal with various personalities and various situations that either make us believe in love or make us swear of love for a while.  In our thirties we are more aware of what we desire from a mate. As a result, we have no need to settle for wooden nickels.

I write this as a 32 year old trans woman who has found herself and knows what she wants. I've been told that I'm too picky and that I intimidate the men that I attract. It may because I'm not taking any type of crap from anyone.  However, I am willing to take my time and not rush into something.

While I am tired of being single, I am also trying my hardest to be patient. I refuse to call myself miserable because I'm single.  

What can you do while you're single? While you are single, I advise that you find a hobby and do things that you enjoy. If you enjoy bowling, then go bowling. If you love dancing, then go dancing. You may just meet your future lover while enjoying your hobby.

While single, take time to enjoy yourself and explore your creative side. Don't always try to gather your friends for a big group trip. It is perfectly fine to spend some time with you.

While we love having some time alone, we must also make sure that we regularly connect with friends. Sometimes, those feelings of lonliness can make us feel unwanted.  Connecting with your friends regulary can make you feel wonderful and it will also remind you that you are loved and that you are cared for!

Don't forget about your health as well. During your single time as well as during your non single time, make sure that you are exercising regularly and that you are taking care of yourself mentally. Take time to write your feelings or to seek counseling if it is needed.  

So many times we put our focus on finding a mate that we exhaust ourselves mentally and can make ourselves miserable for the sake of being happy. 

Remember that single does not indicate that one is miserable. It just may mean that you are waiting on the right one for you. It may also mean that you know what you want. It may also mean that you just don't want to be in a relationship.

Single is just being single.

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