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So I've been a little depressed lately. I don't know, maybe it's because of my hair or because I am completely confused about life. I mean I'm 25 years old, I still live with my parents, I have no career but most of all I'm single. Tell me, is going through life in your 20s the hardest and most confusing thing to do? Well, it is for me, because not only am I 25 and confused, I'm also an introvert. What is that? I'll tell you; a shy person that does not like to be around crowds or is completely terrified of meeting new people. Here I'll give you the textbook definition:
1. A shy, reticent person
2. another word for introverted.
I like my bubble (that's what I named it). I like it because the only person that can pop it is me. It's comfortable and spacious but sometimes it can get lonely.
But, today is the day that I took a vow of celibacy. That means I have to stay away from men. I took this vow because I want more, I want the next man I date to love me for who I am and not what I have; my nunie-cat.
SN: nunie-cat means vagina for those of you that are wondering.
I live in a small town called Sumter where it's hard to find a good man. Not because there aren't any, but because all anyone here ever thinks about is smoking, drinking, clubbing, oh and get this: fucking. Also, everyone knows EVERYONE. I mean really, who wants to date someone that you've dated in high school? Not this introvert.
I guess being an introvert isn't all that bad. It has some good perks about it like:
- Great personality
- Small group of friends
- Flared attitude
- No DRAMA
But I'm also passive aggressive which can cause a lot of issues when in a relationship or even with friends. Not being able to or even wanting to express yourself because you think you may hurt their feelings, is a load of bullshit but that's part of my personality. Unfortunately. Which is why people think it's okay to take advantage of me because I'm shy and don't speak up. Until, until they realize, my attitude is crazy.
I chose to be single because I shouldn't have to downgrade my standards to be with someone who doesn't want to be kept. I view myself as a great woman who has all the qualities that a wife should have. But these men view me as a trophy, a side chick, a quick fuck. Why, you ask. Well, hell if I know but I do have a theory, it's called the social media theory. Here let me elaborate for you:
The Social Media Theory
When Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and Instagram advertise picture perfect relationships, fuck boys and thots (mainly) then one believes this is the way to live. This is the way to behave and this is the way to treat people. And live they do.
Like I said it's just a theory. However, I do believe the media plays a major part on the way society acts today. Which is why I love my bubble, it cannot be touched, tampered with or broken by anyone other than me. I belong to me and no one else.
This book is about my journey as a single woman and as an introvert. I will mention a few guys that I've encountered or dated along the way. Of course their names will be changed for anonymity. This is my journey to find myself and discover who I really am as a woman. This is also my journey to help re-evaluate my standards and to figure out where I'm going wrong with dating. Hopefully, this will be helpful to many woman, young and old. However, I just realized hope you enjoy and appreciate my honesty, as it is very hard for me to be so open.
But first, lets see who is worthy of entering into my bubble. For the next 365 days of my life I will be embarking on this journey.
Are you ready?