Six Years of Waiting

A lot of people consider crushes we have at the age of eleven to be ridiculous. But we've all experienced it. In my case, it was the stereotypical "new guy at school" crush. I was in my last year of primary school, and a new boy joined, an American boy for that matter. Being a shy and pretty unsocial kid, I'd never come face-to-face with an American person before, so when this unicorn of a boy turned up at my basic British school, I was fascinated.

Of course I wasn't the only one. A lot of the girls were desperate to be his friend, and all talked about him a lot. I stayed out of it, as I wasn't the pretty kid. I had bright ginger hair, crooked teeth that overlapped one another, and glasses that sat slanted on my pale, freckled face. I avoided him for most of the year, and never spoke to him. He'd run past me in the playground, or sit behind me in assemblies, but I tried my hardest to not get involved. After a while, I started to dislike him. I didn't understand why everyone was so hung up on the American kid after all those months; the novelty had pretty much worn off for me, yet girls were still queuing up to ask him to the end of school disco that the school tried to pass off as a prom.

When school ended, I mostly forgot about him. That was until he became my best friend/next door neighbour's "boyfriend" - I put it this way as I now don't really count two eleven year-olds as a relationship.

He was always outside our houses. They never really went anywhere or did anything, they just stood outside and talked for a bit then he'd leave. She would hang out at my house and he would come to see her. I'd be forced to awkwardly stand there and watch them talk about nothing at all, and that's when I looked at him, then looked at her, and realised that they really didn't match at all. They didn't last, obviously.

Fast forward to high school. He went to a different school than me so I completely forgot about him for a while. That was until I heard a girl in my class gushing about an amazing American boy she'd met. I turned around and asked her for his name, and knew him straight away. They broke it off pretty early, but got back together again a couple of years later. She was the type of the girl who would jump from boyfriend to boyfriend, and sleep with anyone who was up for it. This sounds mean coming from me, because by this time she'd become my best friend. What are the chances? He'd already dated two of my best friends! However, they didn't last and they had a pretty ugly break up. I forgot about him for another year or so.

In 2015, I added him on Facebook on a whim. I didn't have any intention to speak to him, to that day I'd still never had a real conversation with him. He messaged me and asked me who I was, which strangely offended me, considering I'd never properly spoken to the guy. We briefly spoke for two days, and I waited on the third day for him to message me, but he didn't. The last thing I wanted was to look desperate so I didn't message him either, which I regret. Again, I forgot about him, only his rare Facebook posts reminded me that he still existed.

Now you'd think after five years I would've been done trying. I couldn't hold a conversation with him, my best friend hated him for the way they broke up, and I didn't even know him.

The Sixth Year.

Yes, if you refer back to the title of this, you'll know that this is the important one!

College. Sounds daunting but in the UK, it's nothing like what other countries consider it to be. I walked there on the first day with my best friend (the one who dated him twice) and she spotted him in a crowd. She still wasn't over their terrible break up and ranted about him for ages. She insulted him, and purposely barged into him as we waited to get registered for the first time. I looked at him and couldn't believe he was the same person. He no longer had a long head of hair that almost reached his shoulders, or the deeply tanned skin I remembered. And when I heard him speak, the thick accent he once had sounded so much weaker. He seemed harmless, but I had to take my friend's side and dislike him too. It's a girl thing I guess.

I saw him around college for weeks. We bumped into each other when we were walking home and my group of friends knew him, so we all walked together. We then all added one another into a group chat on Facebook and spoke more and more. He had a girlfriend though, so I didn't try anything.

We hung out a lot more in person, and the two of us grew closer. I felt like I could trust him, so I opened up to him about losing my dad when I was sixteen, and how I struggled immensely because of it. I remember the day he broke up with his girlfriend and he messaged me to tell me. I didn't know her, but by the way he had previously described their relationship, I didn't like her, so I was glad he was out of that one.

He was single, and I was. We talked about deep, personal things and shared stuff with one another that we wouldn't trust just anybody with. He moved house, and it just so happened to be on the street beside mine. I invited him over one college night and we played video games until late. I'd never felt so comfortable yet so nervous around someone before. He made feel safe and he listened to me. I didn't have to pretend to be more girly or be someone who I wasn't, to have a good time with him. The nerves cropped up whenever we made eye contact or we moved closer to each other on the sofa. I knew I was definitely in deep this time.

A few days later, myself, him, and our friend had a sleepover. It sounds childish, but I don't know how else to put it. We jokingly played stupid games to pass the time as it got really late, and I was dared to kiss him (it sounds so cliché and fake, but I'm afraid these are true events). Later in the night, I kissed him for real, no game or jokes. We didn't say anything afterwards, we just left the room and went downstairs as if nothing had happened.

At around 4.00am, I asked him to be my boyfriend. I'd never asked anyone this before, and I'd certainly never been in a serious relationship. I'd never kissed anyone, or had any sort of sexual experience. I was one of the awkward innocent teens that are a rare occurrence these days. He said yes, and less than a week later, we dropped the 'L' bomb.

Over a year later, I still look at him and I know he was worth the wait. After so many years, everything seemed to just fall into place. I wasn't the only one who had hopeless crushes throughout the years either. He thought I was cute in primary school, and in 2015, he was too nervous to message me as he thought I'd be a popular girl who wasn't interested. It seems that we both waited for each other, and now I can't imagine life without him.