So Close Yet So Far

The class and humbling radiance emanated from her gracious walk as soon as she stepped into the room. As heads of men and women alike shifted toward her, even the band's vocalist seemed to almost forget his line. Her hair, the tips of which grazed her sacrum, flowed and soothed the soul in a way that would put the ocean waves and falling rain to shame. Her eyes were of the warmest hazel and dug deep into the soul of their beholder. So deep, that it drew from the moment innocence itself and would bring the likes of Leonidas I himself to bawl uncontrollably upon witnessing such divinity.

Her words left her lips and made their way, as a string of the purest gold, into the ears of whomever was awarded her presence. Much like her words, her thoughts and essence were rooted in excellence and astonishing intellectual refinement. To watch such an angel gallivant around the room was a joyous wonder. Nobody was immune to her charm. When an enchanting smile and beautiful mind came together as one in the presence she gifted her audience, it was hard to believe she was even human. She seemed so elegant in her restraint and discipline.

For sure, I thought to myself she would eventually tire me with her charms and perfectness.

Yet to this day, that smile is as beautiful as the first time my knees went weak from laying eyes upon it. Her smile seems to never fade, its radiance just grows brighter and my heart still melts every time I make her giggle. Her touch is as magical as ever. That gentle endearment she offers me despite having felt none prior, it got sweeter with time. Like a 25-year-old casket in the distant Islay or a La Rioja Alta Gran Reserva, the more time passed, the more deeply I fell in love with her.

What was the most amazing part is that she learned to love so dearly because nobody had ever done it for her. The unconditional love that some of us are blessed to have since birth wasn't in the cards she had drawn. Coming from misery and being a shining light to this world is what I found the most fascinating. At the same time, it just made me love her so much more and deny her nothing. Which I didn't, because this world wasn't perfect enough for her. The world was never going to be, this beautiful, agonized, loving soul deserved a better one.

She drove me insane with every flick of the hair and her piercing look. The look, that made her so unique to me in the whole known universe. The first time our gazes met, which seemed a lifetime ago, I knew our souls would be eternally intertwined like the roots of Yggdrasil. She gave me a reason to live with every touch, smoother than the silk of a Khan's sheets. Every time I thought about her face being the first thing I would see upon my wake, my heart raced with joy.

Sufficient was the mere thought of her crimson lips and their touch that bred passion, to give me the strength of 10,000 men. Strong and hypnotizing was her aroma. It was enough to propel me into an amorous trance so overwhelming it would shame the call of the sirens.

So I hope she found that better world. Because you see, she isn't by my side when I depart slumber every morn. The safe haven of her arms no longer welcomes me, nor my arms her. Never again will we bathe each other in adoration.

I now wander the colorless world in search of acceptance that she is no longer among us, because the color left this existence when she did.