Stop... In the Name of Love!

More and more I have come to the realization that a lot of us need to seek help. And I'm in no way saying folks are just crazy and need to be admitted. A lot of us need to admit that our insecurities, past hurts, bitterness, and resentments cause unhealthy relationships going forward. Too stubborn to acknowledge why James' infidelity was due to how you treated him as a man. Too hurt over Cheryl stepping out on you. Yes, he/she was wrong for cheating on you, but you chased him/her into the arms of someone who wanted a good man/woman. Your insecurities, badgering, and nagging, endless social media posts instructing someone how you should be loved, just didn't keep him/her wanting to hurry home to you. If they've got one good friend who brags about their fantastic relationship and how things go well between them, then eventually their hearts will swell for that kind of love.

Your past hurts have to heal before you jump right into another relationship with someone else. Talking it out is one thing but talking to a licensed therapist or certified Life coach/Relationship coach would do you some good. What's the worst that could happen? You learn your triggers? You begin to change? You stop blaming yourself and others for who you've become?

I speak on things that a lot of folks will say under their breath. Why not set a soul free that's been hurting? If we own up to a lot of things rather than blameshift, then healing can begin. And healing doesn't start nor end with a pity party and a few good friends to share in your sorrow. It's nice to have support. But in the long run, we need to give our hearts time to heal. Going to a local bar and meeting someone new is temporal because if you haven't reflected upon that "situationship" that ended only 72 hours ago, then a healthier you in the emotional department isn't possible. No one wants to keep hearing about the good memories you've had when you and so and so were an item. Even that gets old. Get that love back that you had about yourself. Spend time alone. Do fun things by yourself. Learn how to be content alone and you won't stumble stupidly into yet another relationship all because you don't want to be alone. Find your happy again. Don't drag old wounds into anything new. Sharing what happened is not such a good idea to a potential beau either. That's absurd. The time you take to mend and heal is ultimately very important.