Stop Telling Me I Can't Settle Down

I am the person who is in love and ready to settle down. I have people (gotta love polyamory baby) I love, who I want to marry. I know I love them, I know I want to be with them. So why do so many people think they can tell me not to settle down?

In today's society, there is a lot of pressure on sexual freedom and living life to the fullest so you get the experience as much as possible before you are ready to settle down. Now, there is nothing wrong with this. In fact, I think this is a great change in our society that demonstrates the freedoms we have today that were not available in the past in dating culture for many. However, I also think a lot of people take it too seriously.

I recently wrote an article on the dating timeline, and how it has changed drastically in recent years. I said in that article that this change is not a bad thing. I know this from personal experience. I told my partners I loved them before we were even officially dating. My one partner and I got together through hookups. We were all living together before we'd even been dating six months. I know the untraditional timeline, and it works.

However, even though we've only been dating a year, I know that I can see myself with my partners for the rest of my life. In fact, nothing would make me happier. Yet, so many people seem to think that this is wrong. I'm only 21. Therefore, I obviously don't know what I want in life and I need to live and experience more before I am ready to settle down.

I don't agree with this at all. I think when you know, you know. And obviously you can't know for sure, but that is true of everyone you will ever date. No matter how sure you feel, you don't know for sure. And that is okay. Because I feel sure now, and I will take this sureness with me as we continue our relationship. And if it ends, that is okay. I love them now, and that is what matters. I see a future with that now, and that is what matters.

So what if I'm young? So what if this is my first relationship? None of this matters. I'm happy; that should be what is most important. Who are you to tell me that my happiness isn't enough? That despite my happiness, I should still "play the waters" and "sow my oats"?

I'm all for people doing what they want. If you want to go out and sleep with people every weekend, then go ahead. I will never judge you for living your life the way you want to. But please, don't judge mine either.

I'm not the type of person who wants to have lots of sex. I know sexual freedom is a big part of society today. And I'm all for that, just not in my everyday life. I personally only want to have sex with someone I love and have been involved with for an extended period of time. My boyfriend and I didn't have sex for over a year, for instance.

It's just not who I am or what I want. And that's okay. Just like you choosing to explore your options more is okay. Everyone is different, and everyone has their own emotional and sexual needs. Just because they are different, doesn't give anyone the right to tell someone they're are living their life wrong.

I will always make the decision that is best for me regardless of what other people say, even if it means upsetting them by settling down with the people I love at a young age.