Stupid Girl

It all began in the early 80s; my parents lived in a small pull along travel trailer. Yes, of course I was forced to go with them. Hell, I was only 13, I had no choice.

But freedom was sweet when I realized I would have no supervision most days after school. I arrived home and would get off the bus and do whatever I wanted. No one there to boss me around or tell me what to do. Freedom at it's finest. Or so I thought. Actually, it ended being my worst teenage nightmare.

I met up with some other teenagers and began hanging out with them because that's what teenagers do when they're bored and looking for something to pass the time. Big mistake, but it was fun and kept me busy while waiting for my parents to come home.

The campground that we stayed in was gorgeous. The location was just off the river's edge and included a dock for fishing. At night time it was a beautiful sight to see, just insert moon and music and you have instant romance. The song I remember hearing the most was "Night Moves" by Bob Seger.

Yes, eventually I met a boy. Hot as hell he was! He had swag like crazy but something was off about him. Everything in my psyche told me it was true. But of course, I didn't listen.

It all started out very innocent and was fun (it always does). We would all hang out by the bonfires, listening to music, talking and laughing. Seemed fun at the time but I was in for one hell of a life lesson.

So I'm sure by now the questions has arisen in your mind, "Where're her parents?" Yea, believe me, I've asked that same question a million times.

So one day the "hot as hell" boy comes up to me and starts talking to me. I'm thinking, he's never recognized me before, why now? Oh well, I brushed that red flag away. So we began talking a few days on and off, getting to know one another. I'm really beginning to think he really likes me. So yea, I was getting that giddy feeling, all the normal stuff that all teenage girls feel. So must be real love right? Yea don't be so sure about that!

When I said NO, to his obvious question one day, his reply? "When you want to become a woman, then we can have a relationship."

Really? Who the hell says that? Granted he was a couple years older than me, but still, at 13 I wasn't even emotionally grown to understand that verbiage. But still, his words got me thinking. "Hmmmm, maybe he's right. Maybe I can be a woman if I just give up my virginity to him." I never even gave any of the consequences a first thought, let alone a second thought.

STUPID GIRL!

So I sought him out one evening and he took me to a private place along the riverside and that's where it happened. I lost my virginity forever! And not even to someone I loved. I was mortified. I remember crying and feeling so ashamed of what I had done. And no I never told my parents, not even my mom.

Of course, I was extremely embarrassed and never wanted to show my face again. Luckily for me, we didn't ride the same bus because we didn't attend the same school. So I really never had to see him again. Or so I thought.

One afternoon while I was hanging out with some other teenagers, the "hot as hell" boy saw me, and so he began taunting me. Yes, it's true. He thought it would be funny to say things like, "Oh are you a woman now? Did you like it? You weren't any good at it anyway."

I was mortified by what he said. I ran off to find a secluded place to cry. And then I heard someone say, "Hey are you ok?" And when I looked up it was a guy that always hung around us but didn't talk much. So I told him what happened.

Well, you would have thought someone flipped a switch in that boy's head. He went nuts. I was hoping we'd never see that other guy again, cause I kinda feared what would happen to him.

So one day we were playing basketball and the "hot as hell" boy was walking past us, and started his taunting again. Well let's just say he barely walked away on his own, and he wasn't looking "hot as hell" after that ass whooping he got that day!

So you must be thinking I felt vindicated after that right? Well honestly as a 13-year-old girl, yes I felt vindicated but I had no idea how much that one choice and action would disrupt my entire life.

Stayed tuned for more writings like these, cause I have a lot of them!

Thanks for taking the time to read!