Subtle Issues That Destroy Relationships

Is your relationship in trouble? If possible, cut out these subtle issues that destroy relationships.

Most people are fully aware of the catastrophic issues that sink relationships, such as cheating and lying. These will generally spark very emotional reactions, and many times the relationship is killed right there on the spot. Romantic relationships can be tricky to navigate, and there may be little things you're constantly doing that are causing your relationship to die a slow and painful death.

Subtle issues that destroy relationships can sneak up on you, but one day you might turn around and find your partner has had enough. Don't let that be you, and in order to better protect yourself from falling into one of these traps, remember this list. Why love dies and people grow apart is one of the great mysteries of our world. However, romantic relationships are a riddle we will continue to try and solve until the end of time, because when you really get down to it, each other is all we got.

Not Being Open to New Things

We tend to be open to new things towards the beginning of a relationship because doing anything with somebody we are falling in love with sounds fun. However, as time goes on, people close off and fall more and more back into themselves. You don't have to change who you are, but in healthy relationships, partners should share new experiences and expand each other's worlds. 

Not everything has to be your favorite, but if you are a bore who only likes to play golf and watch football for eight hours every Sunday, don't be shocked if people aren't in a hurry to spend time with you. Of course you can play golf and watch football (and you should), but not being open to things outside your immediate areas of interest is one of those subtle issues that destroy relationships. 

Being Sarcastic When Someone is Truly Upset

Being sarcastic is great, and many people find it funny (i'm sure your partner loves that about you), but going for a laugh when somebody is actually upset about something is not a good road to go down. You don't need to be a clown all the time, sometimes you need to listen and react accordingly. 

This is also true during an intense fight. The better you get to know someone the easier it is to piss them off or flip their switch, so it's best to avoid this type of sarcasm during a fight. Tossing gas on the fire and further exciting somebody who is already pissed is one of the bigger issues that destroy relationships. 

Complaining About Your Partner to Other People

People do this one all the time and don't think twice, but it's absolutely one of the biggest issues that destroy relationships. You know the type, my girlfriend is being a bitch, my boyfriend is being a dick, and so on. For starters, nobody cares — seriously. Trashing your significant other is something people in healthy relationships just don't do. Even if all of that is true, keep it in house. You should want to present your partner in the best light, and petty stuff is for people in high school.

Some things are meant to remain intimate, and the way this works best is if certain things are kept between you two. There is nothing wrong with talking about your partner, and it's good if you do, but use good judgement when talking about somebody you love. 

Pretending to Listen When They Talk

Sometimes what your partner is saying might be trivial, but there is a reason they're saying it out loud, rather than in their own head: they want to be heard. It's not that hard to listen for a bit, and if you can, formulate a coherent response. They aren't looking for some profound answer most of the time, they most likely just want to be heard and know that you care, so show them a little emotional support. Most of what everyone says has no real value, but don't just tune them out, it's part of being human. 

This is one of the biggest issues that destroys relationships over the long term, because over time they will start to feel like you don't care much about them. And hell, maybe you don't, and your non-listening is just you already on your way out. If you don't like listening to what your partner has to say, you might be forcing a relationship.

Mentioning an Ex in Almost Any Context

Unless you literally run into your ex on the street or at a party, there really isn't a reason for them to be brought up — it's one of the biggest issues that destroy relationships. We get it, we've all been with other people (generally speaking), and we don't need to hear little tidbits about him or her all the time. They already know you used to love someone else, in fact, they are probably weirdly (and understandably) obsessed with knowing everything there is to know about this person.

Honestly, there just really isn't any benefit of bringing up an ex in any context. It will make your partner feel insecure even if they needn't be. And, unless you have kids with your ex, there really isn't much of a reason to be friends with them. It's long been said that only psychopaths love to stay friends with their exes

Sweating the Small Stuff

Complaining about petty stuff is one of the quickest ways to ruin relationships. If you're constantly sweating the small stuff nobody is going to want to be around you for very long. This can include almost anything, like being a few minutes late, forgetting to pick your underwear up off the floor, and worrying about who pays for what all the time. 

Obviously, if these things happen all the time, or one person is constantly mooching, it can be an issue. But if these things happen once in a while it's not worth getting worked up about, and always harping on every little mistake your partner makes is one of the biggest issues that destroy relationships.

Not Giving Your Partner Enough Space

Being in a healthy relationship is great, but don't smother them. Both partners need to do their own thing on occasion, and need to maintain a decent amount of friends. Of course you can all go out together, but it shouldn't be like you're monitoring each other.

Another big thing is text messages, as in don't read you partners without permission. Even if they don't have anything to hide, they might not want you snooping through their phone. This is all part of giving each other enough space, you are separate people and should not feel like you are under NSA surveillance. It comes down to basic trust and decency, and overstepping this way is one of the biggest issues that destroys relationships.  

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Subtle Issues That Destroy Relationships