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Success in Relationships

It’s hard to accept that the person you are with now had a life before you.

It’s hard to accept that the person you are with now had a life before you. Loving someone and being loved is a different feeling far beyond what words can explain. However, loving someone means loving every part of them. It seems simple, but is harder than it seems because we are exposed to things that we never thought would cross the path of the relationship. Pasts are supposed to be left behind, but is it really left behind? The mind is powerful as we constantly wonder if they think about their exes and how we can be better. We often forget that they were not born yesterday and they experienced life before meeting us. This means that they could have loved someone else before. Does this make the love they have for us less meaningful? A question we cannot answer because we are consumed with thoughts of their past, that we cannot allow ourselves to move on. Insecurities creep in and we wonder if we are good enough. Pasts are haunting, but should we allow them to be the determinates of our relationships? Trust is hard to give and when earned people can choose to follow it or ignore the power behind the word. It’s not fair to ourselves if we hold on to trust because we are afraid it will be taken for granted. Instead, we should give trust because in life we have to take risks and learn from experiences. Along with love comes fear. Fear of losing individuality, hurting someone, and heartbreak. If we are confident in the relationships we get into, why are we negative from the start about the unknown? If we question the person we love, is it love? With love comes stress because we want to know if the person we love is as loyal to us as we are to them. The issues we encounter are preventable with communication, trust, and passion. Every relationship is different, but the basis of successful relationships is all universal. Love can drive people crazy because we do not know how to incorporate the basic means of a relationship. How do we forget about the exes and not compare? It’s hard not to let your mind wander and wonder why that person is not here. However, that should be our answer. Exes are not in that person’s life for a reason. We are in the relationship because we have something to offer that others did not. The one we love will not be able to forget about their exes if we are constantly insecure about them. Maybe we inflict pain upon ourselves as we are the ones obsessed with their past. To alleviate the stress and worry, we have to allow the past to stay in the past and focus on the present. The past is not only the problem, but the thought about the future can cause problems. Why worry about what did not happen yet? We cannot assume the person we love will change or stay the same. The future is unpredictable and if we try to control it, it could lead to a different outcome than expected. Love is best when it is present. Enjoying the moments and the time we have together because it will not have thoughts of the past lingering. It also won’t have the anxiety of the future intruding on our happiness. Love is not something we can control, but we can do certain things for ourselves to feel confident and to try to be the best significant other. The goal, in the end, is to spread positivity towards the relationship and hopefully it will radiate and the feelings will be reciprocated.

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Success in Relationships
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