Sweet Girl

Sweet girl, you have been with that man for five years. You have had his kids. You have been in fights with other women over his love. Yet he will not make you his wife. You have spent all your time, money, energy, and love trying to make him love you in the ways that you have loved him. He has walked away when you talked about building a better life with him, and maybe one day having his last name.

He says, "Why should we get married when things are good the way they are?"

But the only good thing about it are the dreams you have at night. You avoid family events because you don't want your grandmother asking, "When are you getting married?" You don't talk to your friends about your problems anymore, because you know they're sick of telling you to "Let it go."

Sweet girl, you have been with him for ten years. You have been homeless, in and out of jail (from trying to keep him free), and almost lost your kids. For what? To show him your loyalty, and how you're "down" for him? Forever telling yourself this year will be the year he will wake up and put a ring on your hand.

What you don't know is when you're not around he tells that other girl how much he loves her and that she has a baby on the way. What you don't is he used to love you but the feelings have changed because he no longer respects you.

He holds on because he doesn't want to be like his father, a man who walks away from his kids and responsibilities of being a dad. So he cheats and lies, in order to save face.

But what he doesn't know is the kids can see the dislike or hate in his eyes. That they can hear every fight and all the tears that are cried. He doesn't know that when he walked out that night, his kids had to help you up off the floor and seeing that made them hate him for the way he treated you.

He told you the last time he hit you was going to be the last time... but he said that the last time. He told you that it was no way he would cheat again, because he was in love... but never said it was with you.

Sweet girl, you have a little girl and what are you teaching her? That it's okay for men (even her daddy) to be disrespectful, hurtful, and mean?

Let me help you out here, sis. I understand you have his kids, but if he doesn't love you the right way, it's okay to move forward in the best way for you and your children.

Don't let anyone put you down, or make you feel less than what you are. You are a Queen! And have to uphold yourself as such. You are strong, and can make it through anything that's thrown at you.

Young man! I'm here for you, too. You can still be a good dad outside of the home. If you have given it all you could but things didn't work. It's no need to stay in a unloving relationship.

You, sir, are a King! And you have to show your children the best you, you can give them.

You both have to do better, and love yourself first in order to love someone else. You will forever be family, because y'all blood has mixed together to make those beautiful children.

You both need to understand that once you began having children, it stopped being all about you or you but became about them. And for them, they need to see a dad loving their mother, even if he isn't in love but he shows love because of the gift of them. They need to see a mother loving their dad, even if they're not together but because he is the father of her kids. They don't need to see hate or anger... pain or sadness.

So sweet girl, I have your back.

I know you can rock this. With your magic, you got this!