Tantra Speed Date Had the Energy Flowing

I was recently invited to a Tantra Speed Date event by my friend Guy Shahar. I didn't know what that was so I enlisted a generic Google search on "Tantra." I saw stuff about slowing down sex, adding intimacy through energy and other thought-driven addenda that seemed over my head. But I was primed with a reply if anyone asked me if I've ever had tantric sex. “You kidding me, I've barely had sex-sex.” As it were, I was ready to go home after the first date. (Don’t worry Guy, I like to capture my readers by making them think I'm leading with a negative).

Clarifying, Tantra Speed Date wants people to know that their events aren't about sex—even though Tantra can be used in sex. So after the group mingled for 30 minutes, Shahar emphasized that human connection is the primary intent of their events.

Tantra Speed Date does not stand alone in New York, though. The events take place in 15+ cities worldwide. Since The Tantra Institute's first event on June 17, 2017, there have been over 3000 attendees and over 100 events.

The institute can claim 13 Certified Facilitators and the energy aspect Guy wanted to highlight didn't run aground of the competing sexual anxiety and enthusiasm in the room. Chakras, divinity, and spirituality supposedly flowed through our held hands.

I tuned out a bit. Not that I discount Eastern thinking because I've done numerous articles on these subjects. I find the disciplines highly credible, but as usual, I was thinking about results.

In other words, I find the practices credible but have limited ability to apply them to my impatient and chaotic mindset. Nonetheless, we began.

We slow down and begin the speed dating.

The women formed a circle inside the men's as our eyes were closed. Each woman then stood in front of the man closest to them. As luck would have it, the prettiest woman in the room appeared front and center.

We then exchanged what we're grateful for at this moment. I poorly proceeded to rattle off some things I was thankful for. Not that I don’t have plenty to appreciate, but I was too on the spot to come through. However, when I said I was very grateful for being invited, I got a laugh and loosened up.

The men again closed their eyes, and women put their hand on our hearts. It was a very nice touch, and women could drop a real or imagined bead into our pouches. A bead meant she approved of me, and our email addresses would be made available to each other. It seemed real enough to me, and as stated above, I was ready to go home.

Huh?

Of course, impatience clearly dictated that my work was done here. So let's wrap it up and begin the online pleasantries. But I rightly put a lid on my usual mindset.

Stopping to Take It All In

The women proceeded to circle one left so all dates were had, and the heart and bead trick ensued each time. The engagements had us mirror dancing, offering brief back massages and full embraces. Of course, any physical contact had to be consented to by both partners. Most seemed open, and people could easily defer by staying in the namaste pose.

We also envisioned images of peaceful and prosperous futures and shared the revelations with our partners. The interludes all ensued with an explanation from Guy. He did so with a procession of one-liners that made you feel as though Jackie Mason or Henny Youngman was hanging spiritually over his shoulder.

Maybe a little corny but this is not a criticism. Guy’s downplayed humor created an air of amiability without overshadowing the event. It really wouldn’t do if we were all falling over laughing. This, to me, showed that Guy knows his audience and that the evening’s intent was not about him.

Still, the Yoganess of the deal wasn’t all that there for me. But there’s nothing wrong with throwing a twist into the speed dating domain. As for people who are more down with the discipline, I’m sure it had greater appeal.

The best is yet to come.

On the other hand, a few moments were still to come.

We did an exercise in which each dater would put their hand over their participant’s heart. This immediately made me nervous. I was a little worried about looking for a heart and having my hand land where it was definitely not supposed to be.

Not to worry, we took each other hands and placed our partners' palms over our proper organ. We then exchanged what we appreciated about this sharing. All I could come up with was the obvious. “I like your touch.”

But her response may have been the best compliment I have ever received. Now, I’m a guy who can really work the room at times and talk a pretty good game. But when it comes to the individual intimacies of men and women, I’m still a scared little boy.

So when she said, “your hand tells me your shy,” I was blown away. Maybe, there is something to this Yoga.

We moved on. The men were then told to take a knee and hold our date’s hand. Our role dictated that we look up to our date as a goddess and appreciate her femininity.

Energy now coincided with serendipity. There was certainly a goddess quality in this date’s looks. But divinity also flowed from her maturity, and the latter is something we obviously shared as this evening's event was specifically for ages 40+. The exchange came through loud and clear. We’ve both been around the block, gotten knocked down and here we are on our feet. The energy was unmistakable, and a bead was earned.

My account ends here, but hopefully this is where all the stories actually begin.

For more info: https://tantrany.com/

https://tantrany.com/date/newyork/

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