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Ten

To Twelve

By Ashley GPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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Ten.

You are up to ten days of talking, you think its great. He tells you its great, but people tend to tell you things they don't mean. You're no stranger to having someone promise things and then they disappear. Little do you know, he does not agree as much as he has led you to believe. Eleven comes next, thats when things change. He starts to disappear a little, you don't want to push so you let it happen. You let him have his space, to clear his head. You start to thing back to day nine, you had a serious talk about being with each other. Apparently that doesn't mean anything to him, or anyone for that matter. Day eight, you've smiled more in the last week and one day than you have in your entire life. Day seven, he makes you so happy, and you assume you've made him just as happy based on the way he's treated you. Day six, you had so many butterflies you decided you had t-rex's instead. Day five, you were so thankful to have met him. Day four, the smiling really started, he made you laugh so much. Day three, you were appalled at his lack of knowledge in one of your favorite things but decided to make it a date. Day two, you were excited to see that he wanted to talk to you again. Day one, you started the day thinking he was just a dorky guy that would be your go to for future guy problems, you ended the day knowing he would be a problem.

Day twelve. Why didn't you follow your gut feeling at the beginning of day one? What changed? Are you that naive, or was he really just a jerk? Do you only attract one type of guy? The one's that fill you up with love and laughter just to take it all away and leave you empty and alone?

Always go with your day one. They always tell you to go with your gut, so why trust anyone? Why expect the good in people?

You trust too much, you give too many chances. No one genuinely appreciates your attributes. You love too hard, you expect too much good. It is not worth it. None of it is. No one cares as much as you do, no one deserves the chances they give you, no one loves the way you do, no one cares about the good. You want to please everyone, but thats impossible. You find the one person you want to make happy, you think you can make them happy, but they just prove you wrong. After that you're just left to yourself. No one to please, only an empty feeling that took away the good thing you felt before.

Isn't it easier to be alone and never worry about anyone else? That might sound easier, but the lonely nights that break your heart all over again as the sun begins to set are what hurt the most.

It was only for a short time, but he filled that short time with smiles and laughter and kindness. You think you spend that time talking to someone and getting to know their heart, they'd have the decency to be honest with you from the beginning, not at the end when you're in too deep. You can't tell anyone, you don't have anyone to tell. They all left on their own selfish ambitions because you weren't just like them, you weren't willing to feed into their antics, the antics that you wanted nothing to do with. None of it speaks to who you are, apparently that's a problem. Apparently its a problem to be yourself.

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About the Creator

Ashley G

Just a college girl who's trying to find her way through the tough times, hoping her writings will not only help her but reach others and make them think.

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