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That “Oh Hell No” Moment

When You Lose All Interest and Have to Deuce!

Blow a kiss and keep going!

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone, perhaps a friend, friend with benefits, or partner and you reach your limit? Without the intention you find yourself thinking “oh hell no”... and in that moment you instantly lose interest in trying to give anything more than you already have. 

Let me be the first to say that I have reached this point many times in a multitude of scenarios and I actually think that these moments have been pivotal points of change for the better. Often I have been criticized for “cutting people out of my life” and have been told that I have a pattern of doing this. My general opinion is YOU ARE DAMN RIGHT. Sometimes we reach this point of no return for the right reasons when we feel that a relationship is no longer healthy for us. Sure, there is forgiveness and understanding and even so—loving from a distance. Often times I believe we chose to stay in a circumstance with the hope that things may change or get better. Let me tell you, honey, if the shit hasn’t changed in a while, chances are it probably isn’t EVER going to. If you have reached your “oh hell no” destination, it is probably because your heart or intuition is telling you that you are faced with something that is harming you. You do not need to feel guilty for cutting toxic relationships out of  your life, even if you love the other person still. In order to take care of YOU, the numero uno in this life, sometimes you just have to cut people loose. 

Now, cutting ties can feel super shitty and you may even feel like the bad guy. DON’T! You keep doing you and you shine. Other people might not like your response and they may judge you—oh well. If you know you have hit your max and you need to refresh, keeping the toxic dialogue or interaction around might not be the best idea. When you decide that you need to throw up the peace sign and do your own thing, it is important to remember that you are doing this for you. Sure, maybe the other person has said something that hurt your feelings. Maybe a situation is a total shitstorm or maybe nothing happened at all and you just need to have space. Either way, your decision to walk your own path should be made in confidence that you are taking care of yourself and do not owe people your time, your heart, or your interest. Your time is a gift and you are a blessing! If you have reached the point where you know you want to chuck that deuce... just chuck it, baby, just chuck. The emotions that surround these feelings are signs that your body is telling you to protect yourself and this is a natural response to something that  is unhealthy. You are not crazy, you are not damaged, you are not unworthy of love! In fact, these feelings are helping you to grow and to see what you may need for the next step in your personal development. LET GO of ANYTHING NO LONGER SERVING YOU. 

If the love is true and real, it will be present in your life. If the love feels like a drag, feels like a chore, or is hurting you.... honey, there isn’t a single good reason to keep hurting yourself by choosing to stay. The first person that you should always be in a relationship with is yourself. YOU! You are the only one who knows what you need. You must listen to what your gut is telling you and take it easy. I remember times when I was bent all the way out of shape over a dude I thought I was in love with. Hot mess levels, really. Then, when I finally decided that I was ready to chill and just stop dating for a while, I discovered that I had accomplished so much personal growth that I didn’t even think I was capable of. I believe that this growth was possible because I gave myself full attention to my goals and cut off toxic relationships. I traveled, I wrote, I hiked all of the national parks in my area and memorized the trails. I made a ton of art, I developed my career as a self employed artist and consultant for several companies, and I truly gave myself the dedication that I deserved but had been previously placing in other. None of these accomplishments would have been possible had I stayed trippin over someone else! Why? Because you can’t trip over what is behind you. To me, reaching my limit with people was actually always about self preservation and growth more than anything else. 

So, what is the point? The point is: if you don’t take care of yourself, there isn’t a single person who will be able to. If you feel like shit because you are at your limit with someone in your life: even if that person is cool as hell and you love them, your feelings are coming to you as a sign that you need a change. Take a step back, take some time to just be who you are, and get your full shine on, baby! In 2019, there is no room for feeling dusty and rusty and raggedy; Hell no!! Brush your shoulders off and be proud that you gave the love and the time that you had when you had it, and keep on going. Sometimes goodbye is the best way to say hello to bigger progress in your life and we all should be growing and expanding every day. Don’t let a toxic situation be the thing that you hold on to. You may be holding yourself back from your most beautiful come up. Heyyyyo!!

Ja bless-One love 

*A*

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