I've hesitated continuously deciding on whether or not to not only write this, but also post this for the world to see, because I somehow convinced myself that my message in this piece was worth reading. I really hate myself for doing this but, it's very "me." I can't think of a better "Hey there" to you after not speaking for a while.
Let me get to the point. I had been battling with this idea of writing and publishing for the world to see where I was and where I am now. I will have sent you a link to this piece I've written. Don't feel obliged to read it, but do feel a bit curious. There might be something in here you'd (love/learn/enjoy).
Just a few months ago, I, a naive junior in college found myself enjoying the company of someone I would never expect. We were not the closest of friends nor were we the type to ignore each other if we ever did encounter each other. We were simply acquaintances. But boy, was I in for a surprise. It started with a few conversations. These conversations built into full-length debates and ramblings of the meaning of life, religion, politics, determinism, racism, and other topics we were not afraid to touch on. For us, this was just our daily dose of insight into the world. It was our banter. We weren't burdened by these conversations, it was just routine talk for us.
I was so intrigued. You told me about your insatiable thirst for knowledge (Yes three weeks of three English classes has me using these kinda phrases a lot). You told me that you were devoted to learning and that you wanted to continue for the rest of your life. I told you about my desire to understand people, their motivations, their desires, and ultimately learn more about humanity in general. We were inquisitive. We knew how much we didn't know, motivating us even more. The range of topics we touched were boundless. We confronted each other on certain stances we didn't agree on. I learned from you and I hope you learned from me. It was heavy and esoteric talk for a bunch of college kids, but I was immediately captivated by someone who shared the same passion and disliking for mediocrity. But then again, we'd go straight into watching terrible anime and the overdone episodes of Friends. We wallowed in our inability to sustain a conversation for long with anyone, because we'd just be so bored by the end. We had a knack for learning about people. Give us a few weeks and we'd have them figured out.
I don't know how it happened. Somehow things were just falling into place, the timing and the way we happened was perfect. It was some of the most beautiful and happiest months of my life. But just as everything always has an ending, happy or sad, we had one too.
You once asked me if I could see my life from start to finish, would I change things. You asked me after watching Arrival. I actually just recently finished reading the whole script. It was beautiful, and amazingly human even though everyone thought it was about aliens.
My answer, no, I wouldn't change things. Not at all.
I had never been one to get attached. Friends and family were great, and very important parts of my life. But attachment? No, god no. I was ever-fleeting. I wanted to go off into the world, discover new places, discover new people, learn, write, and write for film, my ultimate dream. I lived completely and fully in the present but also looked forward to all the experiences I wanted to have. The past was something I had no interest in. Its the past, I mean, you can't do anything about it. But now, I find myself looking back to our time. Missing it. Loving it. Its such a contrast to my way of thinking. Always live in the moment, I thought. You don't want to regret anything so live your fullest now. It took me some time to accept the fact that looking to the past is important and ultimately helps me live my fullest. The past shapes us, you can't just ignore it and live on. It has to be accepted, learned from, and not taken for granted. I would be lying if I said I haven't changed or grown for the better because of you.
But now I find my self with old passions reignited and new goals formed. I have a reinvigorated determination to travel, write, and gain new skills, talents, friends, passions. I WILL be going to Los Angeles or New Zealand right after graduating. I WILL live in my favorite place in the world Queenstown or maybe even Wellington for some time. I WILL be writing multiple scripts and pursuing my career in screenwriting soon after graduating. I WILL be going on endless adventures, backpacking in Bhutan, skydiving, volcano hiking, visiting every continent, getting shit-faced in Ireland, riding in a hot-air ballon in Turkey, and many more I can't wait to do. I am naturally restless and I love life so I'd rather burn bright than try to hold onto a steady dim fire.
Now, back to you. You were my best friend for the longest time. And I still wish you the best in life. I want you to be the happiest and love your life. I'm so proud of who you are and that you thought I could get a peek into your world. But I just had a few things on my mind that I wanted to tell you.
Don't get caught up in the small things in life. I know you're amazingly passionate about your work but don't forget that at the end of your life, you'll definitely have many accomplishments, worked on so many inspiring ventures, have received multiple accolades and applause from admirers. But don't forget to live your life. Don't forget to go on those adventures, reminisce memories from college with friends, learn about the world like you always wanted to, take every ounce of knowledge you can, and live your dream. I want to see you taking VR technology to new heights; break all the ceilings. And if your dream isn't that anymore, and you've taken a new interest then take that and don't just take it for granted. See it through, don't get caught up in the in between. Always have clarity of your end goal. I have. And I want you to too.
You were the only person in this world I could ever be completely honest with. I valued that, and I still think it holds true which is why I'm trying to return the favor now.
I don't know if you've completely forgotten me, or you've deleted any trace of me from your brain, and been doing really good. I don't have that right to know anymore not to tell you anything. I know that. So if you did read through this far, thank you.
I do hope we can catch up soon.
You and I have only taken baby steps on this adventure that is life.
There is so much more beyond, so much more to do.
And I can't wait, cause it's gonna be a hell of a ride.