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The Age Gap

Does age really mean anything?

By Tanisha DaggerPublished 7 years ago 3 min read
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What does an age gap mean within a relationship? To me it means nothing. I’ve grown up with individuals in my life having relationships with people older than them and also with people younger than them. For example, my parents have just under a 20 year age gap between them but they have been together for more than 22 years so why does the age gap matter? It doesn’t; some people don’t like a big age gap in relationships, but what gives people the right to comment on other’s relationships when not asked? Not everyone has to explain what they do in their life to other people.

Most relationships I've had have been with people either the same age or a couple of years older than me, but this year something changed…for the better. I unexpectedly fell in love with a man who is forty-seven years old. Now before you jump to conclusions it is not because he’s rich, it’s not because he drives a nice car; it's genuinly because of his smile, his personality, and his self-worth to put himself first.

For as long as I can remember I’ve never put myself first, I’ve never put my feelings, ideas, emotions or anything that involved me first. I have always tried to listen to what everyone has to say, try and make every one of them happy, but I also tried not to upset anyone…even if that meant it would upset me or “destroy” me inside. But when he came along I changed, I put myself first, I put my feelings first, my emotions first, my happiness first. Although I was scared to tell people about our relationship at first because I was still very wrapped up in what they would say and what they would do. But after time I gave up listening to them.

Of course, I had people tell me that I could find someone better, I could find someone my own age that could make me happy. But when this individual told me I could find someone my own age to make me happy it hit a “switch” inside of my head and everything I was thinking just came out. For example, one of the sentences I was thinking was “How do you know that I’m not happy? How do you know what I need to make me happy?” At first, I only told the people I thought I could trust the most…turns out this didn’t turn out right for me, I had everyone judging me (or felt like it), I kept having certain higher up colleagues try and persuade me to change my mind about the relationship…to try and make me happy. But in fact, that certain person was making it worse.

The way I look at age gap is I don’t really take any notice of the gap between the ages; why should we? What could possibly happen? Yes, you might get hurt (physically, mentally, emotionally) but who’s not to say that you won’t get any of that from someone closer to your age or even the same age as you? Age gap has no meaning to me.

I’ve now spent nearly five months living with my boyfriend (who is 47 and I’m 20) but after my past, I am now the happiest I’ve been in years. Actually, I don’t think I have ever been this happy. Yes, I know five months is nothing in relationship terms but we kind of did things a bit ass backwards for a “normal” relationship. But what is a “normal” relationship? Is it going to the movies every week, going out to eat every couple of days, spending nights in together?

People shouldn’t have to follow each other to try and have the “perfect” relationship because in reality life isn’t perfect. The only thing you need in life is to be happy and really someone or something to be continuously happy with, whether that is your boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, husband, wife, or even the cat, it really doesn’t matter what you do in your life as long as you are happy.

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About the Creator

Tanisha Dagger

22 years old.

Inspire to be the person you want to be!

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