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The Art of Living Together

What It's Like Living in a One Bedroom Apartment With My Boyfriend

By Jae HeidePublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Not an accurate depiction of what living together is like

I remember when I was nine or 10 and I came home from camp to find that I finally had my own room. I broke down into tears out of pure joy. Finally, after roughly seven years, I wouldn't have to share a room with my sister anymore. Having my own space was its own kind of bliss. No more were the late nights because Ella would be up and about. No more having to agree on movies. No more having to go to bed early because she didn't want the lights on while I read and she tried to sleep.

I've always enjoyed having my own space and alone time so I don't know why on Earth I thought it would be a fun idea to move in with my boyfriend in a tiny, cramped, one bedroom apartment.

Now when I say tiny, I mean we barely have enough counter space to place our dishes to dry, you can't pass each other in the hallway, and the living room is barely big enough for a couch, a single bed, and a TV.

Now don't get me wrong, I love him to pieces. However, sometimes I wish I was magic and could just make him disappear for a couple days. What I have learned from living with him for the past four months is that no matter how much you love each other, without personal space you will end up hating each other.

Currently, we both sleep in the living room due to a bedbug infestation (because our building is not that lovely). We also eat in the living room. There is no separation between the kitchen and the living room, so it's like I cook in the living room. We watch TV, play video games, get dressed, almost everything you can think of that takes place in a normal home, happens in our living room. This means, other than work, we spend all of our time together.

You know how it feels when a dog is constantly following you and trying to get your attention? That is how it feels being with your significant other all the time. So how do you get that needed alone time when there isn't anywhere to go? You learn to be alone together.

Just because you and your partner are in the same room it does not mean that you have to be together. Sit on separate ends of the couch, and dissociate yourselves from one another. You can both watch TV while pretending that you're alone and pretty soon you'll get so good at being alone together that the small area you live in won't even matter anymore.

Savor the time that you actually have alone. Every second you have by yourselves, enjoy it. For me, when Kevin is stressing me out, a shower is my escape. On weekends sometimes I have three or four (but it's fine because we don't pay for water) just to have a breather. He goes for drives when he needs to get out. During the times you aren't together, make sure you appreciate it and appreciate that your significant other is probably just as irritated with you as you are with them at times.

So far these are the only strategies that I have learned. It's funny that I was always so scared of being alone and now, that's what I crave most. There are still times when I'm really glad we made the choice to move in together. Like when one of us is sick, or one of us works late, we're there for each other. It's good on the days when you just need a hug, or you need a hoodie to steal. Chores are half the work when you do it as a team. I think the best part of it all though is getting to see the person you love every day, that little heart skip you get when they come through the door, and their smile when they see you for the first time in the day.

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