The Art of Self-Love

The art of self-love isn’t really an art at all.

Searching inside for something that isn’t innate 

Self love: “Regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.” Are you loving yourself today and putting your needs first? It’s ok! If someone tells you you’re being selfish by doing so tell them it’s the most selfless selfish act you could do for you and those you love. Let that soak in...❤️

ODE TO SELF-LOVE

I love you

I love you more than you can ever imagine

But I didn’t always love you, not the way I should have

Well I thought I did, but I really didn’t know how

I had no clue of who you really were so in turn it was impossible to authentically love you

Even still, I loved you when you were six and walked in on your daddy shooting heroin into his dick

You were young and confused because in your mind you thought giving a needle was only something doctors could do

I loved you even though I couldn’t do anything about how you walked away naive and confused

I loved you when you witnessed your mommy and daddy fight

Mommy was tired of spending time loving a man, trying to undo his wrongs and make them right

I loved you despite my inability to help you even though I knew you were really afraid

You were the innocent witness of so much before even attending the first grade

I loved through the grade school bullies, middle school fights and your high school blues

I loved you when you were 14 and gave up your virginity because your friends were having sex and you thought you should too

I loved you through your first physical and mental abuse from that same young man

Yes that one, the one who took your virginity then had sex with your best friend

I loved you through the time you decided to get rid of that baby

Yes I know you were only 15 years old but that shit was emotionally draining

I loved you when you allowed that man to abuse you on the low

Yes I know he never marked you up where people could see

He was clever like that and always left his bruises on your body hidden underneath your clothes

I loved you enough to stand by and witness you resistant to change

I loved you enough when your behavior was deranged

Like the time you left your kids alone to go hunt down that man

The one who said he loved you but cheated, gave you an STD, got high on crack and went to rehab then fed you with lies, time and time again

Yes I loved you through all the trials and tribulations and emotional strife

I even loved you through the decision you made to become that same man’s wife

No matter what, I loved you

I loved you when you thought it was necessary to fight

You were constantly fighting, fighting others and yourself because that was what you knew to be right

I loved you when all of your choices were like a brigade delivering consequences that were covered in ashes, sprayed into the darkness with the impact of an army grenade

I loved you even though you knew the pain existed to make you see why

I loved you despite the fact you neglected every message from God

Because you were your own enemy in this made up facade

I loved you when you thought cheating was your answer

But in reality it was a cry for help

A cry to save you from your damn yourself

But no one heard your silent cry they only continued to witness this life I call a lie

I loved you even when you thought everything was your fault

Like you chose to feel subconsciously abandoned and alone

You’ve never been and never will be but I understand that mental damage is done

I loved you even when you had this bright idea it would be easier to just take your own life

And even though you had some imaginary belief that not being here, alive, was the best thing

You were mistaken because you are a magnificent Queen

A queen who had endured but has now awakened to the beauty inside where love is not forsaken

I love you now like never before

I love you in all of your wrongs and your rights

I love in you in and through all of your internal fights

I love you beyond your mistakes

I love you in the most vulnerable way

I love you even when I don’t like you

Because I love you now through God’s open door

I love you because you endured the battle

I love you because you overcame with his might

I love you through the changes that have made you brand new

Full of love and full of light

You’ve cut off people who didn’t serve you and damn sure didn’t deserve you

I have to believe that’s because you finally realized I love you

You stopped searching for love externally only as a means to escape yourself

You grew up emotionally with bountiful and intentional mental health

You learned life’s most important lesson

The lesson of loving yourself

The lesson that is the foundation of everything else

That lesson, that lesson is your blessing

And for you realizing that, I can now authentically say… I love you.

Charisma Dawn
Charisma Dawn

I'm an introvert writer overcoming my own fears by releasing the words from in my head onto the paper (well in this case the internet). My time is now so I'm ready to take the bull by the horns and ride into the sunset. I hope you enjoy! 

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The Art of Self-Love
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