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The Awful but Not(?) so Awful Truth About Being a Middle Mind

How Being What I Call Middle-Minded Is Both a Curse and a Blessing

By Amanda LyonsPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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Ever been caught in the middle of your two best friends fighting? Me too. But that's not entirely what I mean by being middle-minded. It does offer a hint toward your inevitable nature though.

What I mean by being middle-minded is when one has the unique ability to see other people's perspectives even if they totally disagree with them. Understanding someone else's point of view is a rare gift that either some people have, don't have, or refuse to acknowledge. Disagreeing with said point of view is a personal choice though. Just because one understands another's view doesn't mean they'll agree with it.

Now, imagine that you have two opinions formed in your own mind that contradict each other. Being middle-minded can be internal as well as external. How is it possible to hold two opposing viewpoints in one's head you may ask? Well, truthfully, I have no clue! I've been asking myself that for years. Do let me know if you ever figure that out. I'm not writing about this because I can or want to answer that. I'm writing this to let all the other middle-minded people out there know they're not alone.

So how is being middle-minded a curse? By now, you've probably guessed it. The internalized middle-mindedness is the curse. Because you're never able to 'make up your mind' due to contradictions in your own thoughts, it makes it hard for you to make decisions. You're constantly weighing your options, and this can be a long process, perhaps even years! Even if you are lucky enough to make a decision, you will always second guess yourself and often regret it. The 'what if' kills you and you may succumb to its unforgiving barrage and become depressed. Worst case scenario is that you give up completely on whatever you decided and refuse to go through with it, having convinced yourself it would have been better the other way.

Another way being middle-minded can seem like a curse is when you talk to other people. Now, this is not entirely external or internal, it's kind of in the middle...of course. You are talking to other people (which is the external part) BUT you are talking to them about your personal ideas, beliefs, thoughts, and feelings (internal). You could be speaking to a friend about a personal belief you have, let's say gun control. You could be all for it, explaining to them why there should be stricter laws and really making a compelling argument. And the next minute you're arguing for the other side saying how everyone should have the right to defend themselves with whatever weapon they choose and to uphold the second amendment. If you've been in this kind of situation before, you've probably gotten a lot of confused, if not, offensive looks from your friend. If you've been on the receiving end of this kind of conversation, bear with us because we have trouble articulating.

Now, what could be a curse about this? I'll tell you because it happened to me. People that hear you speak for both sides will automatically assume one of three things—that you're trying to trick them into saying something they wouldn't ordinarily, you're just being a jerk, or (the most common) they will think you don't have a clear stance, that you're waffling on the issue, that you don't know what you're talking about, which ultimately leads to them thinking your opinions are not of value. Because you seem to contradict yourself people see it as a sort of 'cancelling out' of opinions and that you truly have NO opinion at all. In short, they'll think you're wishy-washy and will never take you seriously in future discussions. In fact, they may cease talking to you altogether.

Even though that seems like a curse, there is an upside. This segues beautifully into how being middle-minded is a blessing —you are able to see both points of view in nearly every situation! Middle-minded people are excellent mediators. Obviously, because middle-minders are able to see both points of view (and more often than not agree with both points of view) they can produce excellent arguments for each side. Wouldn't this result in a stalemate, you ask? Not necessarily. Because middle-minders are able to weigh each argument carefully they have an innate ability to balance the scales. If one party's argument is causing undue stress or otherwise negative effects on the other's life, the middle-minders will make sure to convey that to the other party. This will lead to seeking a compromise. We have a sense of emotional justice that most people may ignore in themselves during a heated argument. It is the mediator's job to bring that to the surface and help each party to understand the other's view without letting the situation elevate to anger or even violence.

So, even though there are a lot of internal ways being middle-minded is a curse, the ability to be able to help others reach satisfactory outcomes in their lives far outweighs it.

How does one deal with the internalized curse of being a middle-mind? This is what I do—use a sense of humor. Don't take yourself too seriously because there is always someone suffering much more than you ever will. Use your middle-mindedness to help as many people as you can and eventually you'll be filled with so much sense of purpose in your life, the curse will cure itself. Remember, you're not alone.

humanity
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About the Creator

Amanda Lyons

Eclectic stream of consciousness and dark surrealism. What photography does for life I do for thought, emotions, and experiences. The genres can range from romance to horror but my favorite is suspense.

[email protected]

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