The ‘B’ in LGBT

The harsh reality of being bisexual in such a 'welcoming' community, and why I’m not a part of it.

The LGBT community has been known to be a very accepting community, for the most part, but when broken down there are still many flaws, as most social categories of people have. The community still faces problems within itself with internalized racism, a vast array of phobias, and other social issues; yet they still manage to band together arm-in-arm to be there for one another when they fall down.

However, if one identifies as the ‘B’ in LGBT, it’s almost made to be an invalid option. Being bisexual is made to be seen as if one is in denial, just a phase of experimentation, whatever it may be, but not an actual choice.

Personally, I have been told dozens of times that I need to make a decision; someone else has always told me that I need to choose whether I am attracted to the opposite or same sex. 

Growing up along the Bible Belt, I was already being told that I was invalid for my attraction to the same sex. One can only imagine how it is for someone in this region to come out and how tough that experience may be. 

I was filled with these thoughts that this community that’s supposed to be full of acceptance and love would then accept me for my attraction to both men and women. I couldn’t have been more wrong. 

As someone in their early twenties, I have already experienced my fair share of biphobia, as I have been broken up with, ghosted — whatever, because of my sexuality. 

I’ve been told by countless woman that they would not date me, because they did not want to be with a guy who has been with another man. I have been told by men that they don’t want to date a guy who is bi, because I am “confused” or that I’ll eventually leave them for a woman; the excuses go on. 

I began to wonder whether if it was just me that something was wrong with, and the list of insecurities began to grow. Maybe I didn’t really know who I was, since everyone else seemed to say that I was confused, that bisexuality doesn’t actually exist. 

There is this constant internal battle going on of whether or not I am too straight or too gay acting, and that’s an issue many bisexual people face.

When I went away to college, I learned to accept both the good and bad that comes with being a ‘B.’ There was nothing wrong with me for being attracted to both sexes, and I learned that it’s okay if this community doesn’t fully accept me for that.

It’s a harsh reality to face, to see such a coming together community toss you to the side and basically erase that ‘B’ from LGBT. That is why I do not wish to be part of this community, like kudos to all who are a part of it. I don’t want to be erased from the community and no longer be told that I have to make a choice of who I am. I’ve always known who I am and part of that is one who is bisexual.

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The ‘B’ in LGBT