The Beauty in the Struggle

Many people think that long distance relationships aren’t real and won’t last but not everything is about physical attributes of a relationship. Usually, the people that say things like this are the ones that have never experienced that kind of love. Of course, it’s much easier to be with someone that lives near you that you could see often. But, the mindset most people have is that you aren’t able to like someone or to even fall in love with someone because you haven’t met them before. This definitely isn’t true. Long distance relationships are so underrated because people don’t realize how hard it is not being able to hold your lover in your arms. Everyone can say having a local significant other is better because you can always see them but my argument is that the feeling you get after meeting your lover for the first time and finally holding them after all those days, weeks and months spent dreaming and longing for your partner. No feeling compares to it. People claim the feelings aren’t real and it doesn’t last but then they can’t explain how so many people that started in long distance relationships have got married. Long distance relationships are hard because you don’t get to fall asleep to the embrace of your lover or wake up to their face but their feelings are valid and no one is allowed to say that long distance is a myth because it isn’t. It just works out for some people and doesn’t work out for others.

Personally speaking, I find it very difficult on those lonely nights when you wish someone would just hold you. I met my current boyfriend on Twitter on February 15, 2017. It’s been a little over a year now, even though we’ve had a rocky patch that went on. It could have to do with distance or maybe it was just an issue he couldn’t get past. We had an amazing relationship at first, everything was perfect up until the seven month mark when he found out some difficult news about his family and he was going to be abandoned by them. This is when he shut me out of everything. He gave me no attention and he just stayed to himself at that point. I figured that both of us weren’t happy at this point in our lives by ourselves so we couldn’t be in a relationship. We didn’t speak for a few weeks and then his ex went to see him. Keep in mind, he lives in Philadelphia and she lives in Virginia. She went to see him and they got back together almost instantly. Some time went by, and I found out they broke up, so I called him that night and he didn’t pick up. So I texted him and he called me. We talked for hours until she came back in the picture two weeks later. I stopped talking to him all together and went on with my life. It was so tough, I cried almost all the time and I constantly missed him. The thing about him was when we were in a relationship, I would call the store he works at and he would pick up and know it’s me but I would give an order as if I was a customer. So, I messaged him on the night it would have been our one year together and I cried while writing him the paragraph and he told me how miserable he is but I blocked him to protect my own feelings. I didn't mention the fact that his cousin and I were very close so we were on the phone two nights after our one year and we just became very vulnerable about past relationships. That night, I called my boyfriend's work just to hear his voice and I hung up as soon as he picked up. He knew it was me and ended up calling my phone and we talked for hours that night about how everything was when we weren’t together and how much we missed each other. We got deep in a way that we never have before. Our relationship feels like the way it was when we first started dating.

It’s crazy how when two people are destined to be together, they’ll find their way back to each other regardless of how long it has been or what happened between them. It started from a Twitter group chat when he was asking for my number so we could “play iMessage games,” to him booking his ticket to come see me this summer. We’ve been through our fair share of arguments as well and our rough times, but at the end of the day, I know he’s the one for me and I’m the only one for him. It started as him trying to get me and I was holding back my feelings when I didn’t have many for him to begin with. But sure enough, with his charm and persistency, I fell for him. He called me about a month ago and I think that’s when I started developing feelings for him. He was everything I could possibly want in a partner. He’s kind, caring, considerate, has a huge heart and he’s so loving. We face-timed four months into talking and we started face-timing everyday after that. We would fall asleep on face-time together and everything in between. I can’t wait to see him and I really hope all these months will be worth it. Long distance relationships aren’t always rainbows and butterflies but no relationship is that way. It takes lots of effort on both sides. There is beauty in the struggle of being so far from your lover. It’ll be worth it someday, I promise.