The Breakup

Now I personally know everyone has been through a breakup, but there is always one that you can't forget about. That's right! Your very first breakup. Some of us probably had our first boyfriend or girlfriend in the third or fourth grade, but I am not talking about that kind of breakup where cooties are involved. I am talking about middle school. You get your first actual boyfriend or girlfriend and you think it is going to be a forever thing. I at least did. I was in the end of my 6th grade year of schooling when I had my actual first boyfriend. He was a grade ahead of me. He played football for the Y-D Dolphins and I was a cheerleader for his team. I thought it was pretty cool, sorta like in the movies where the football and cheerleader end up together forever. Well that wasn't case. We didn't know each other until we met at the "step up" dance. I should have known something wasn't completely right with how we became a couple. At the step up dance, he had a girlfriend who he technically didn't break up with. He told me that they have been done for a while but they just came to the step up dance together. Now keep in mind I was at the end of my 6th grade year so I was a little naïve. After the step up dance we dated all through summer into my 7th grade year. Everything was good until Halloween came. We were supposed to go out together, but I received a text from him saying that we are broken up and that he is now dating my best friend. I thought that was the end of my life. I never thought that my first boyfriend would have been taken away from me so quickly. I laid in my bed crying for hours wondering what I didn't do right or what I could have done to keep him. So now we enter into 8th grade and he is now a freshmen in high school. He asks if we can talk, so I meet up with him and he tells me that he made a mistake and he wants me back. I sit there and think to myself, this is what I have been waiting for since the day we broke up. So I gave him another chance and everything was perfect again. It was like the Earth was back on its axis. I had no idea that it would happen again. This time he went after a different friend of mine. To him it was just a game with all of us, but he didn't know how much I was in love with him. So every time I would get back with him and I felt stupid every time, but he was my first love. It eventually got to the point that he cheated on all of us with each other and when we found out he would ignore our phone calls. So now we hit high school he is a sophomore and I am a freshmen. We didn't go to a regular high school. We went to a vocational high school. So people from the 12 towns where I'm from went to that school if they got accepted. I haven't seen him since he graduated middle school. so walking to our school and seeing each other again was like nothing ever happened, but that is when my best friend tapped me on the shoulder and told me to remember everything that he has done since I met him. I looked away and kept walking. I kept walking because if it wasn't for her I would have been back under his thumb dealing with everything he put me through. Well now I am sophomore and he is a junior. We were in the same trade together so we saw a lot of each other. The feelings that I thought disappeared came back in full force, and there it was, we became a couple again. It turned out to be a lot better this time. That was the first time we ever had sex. April vacation. It was perfect! He has definitely been thinking and planning for this to happen. A couple weeks went by and we ended up breaking up, but this time it was mutual. We just didn't feel the same way about each other anymore. We grew apart. For the longest time I always thought that I wasn't good enough, or I wasn't pretty enough, or I did something that made him mad, or that I did something wrong. But that was it, I didn't do anything wrong. It was him who did something wrong. I don't want anyone to think that their past relationships didn't work out because of what you could or couldn't do. Don't sit there and think that you were the problem. You are better than that P.O.S who first broke your heart, just remember that!