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Whether you’ve been broken up with or you’re the one doing the breaking, you always go through an adjustment period when you become newly single. Sometimes it’s excitement or relief when letting go of a relationship that’s lost its edge. Sometimes it’s unexpected and you feel lost and broken. Regardless of your situation, finding yourself again is an important step to letting go, healing, moving on, and even preparing for your next relationship.
Don’t say no.
Many times, when you’re in a long-term relationship, you intertwine yourselves in each other’s lives. If they go out, you go out with them. Their friends become your friends and vise-versa. Maybe you become a homebody, or a little bit anti-social and spend a majority of your time with your partner. Your friends and family may think you’ve “disappeared” because of your relationship. Being newly single is your chance to make up for lost time. It’s your opportunity to have some fun, rekindle friendships and make new ones, and just learn to live independently again. It’s easy to tuck yourself away while you deal with your emotions and cope with being alone. I’m telling you that nothing helps more than putting yourself back out there. Say yes to meeting up with your friends, co-workers, family, whoever it may be. Say yes to spontaneous trips, outings, or activities that get you out of the house. When you start saying yes more often than you say no, you naturally start to heal and enjoy your singleness.
You don’t have to worry about dating right away.
Rebounds really don’t rid you of your feelings. Yes, the distraction can be helpful, but you don’t want to steer someone else the wrong direction just for your own benefit. Who knows, you may even be the one who gets the wrong impression. Jumping into a relationship too soon is a recipe for disaster. Chances are, you are still getting over things from your past, or maybe your past is still trying to linger around. Just take your time, heal, have fun, and be selfish in a good way. And when you’re ready, put yourself out there and be open to meeting someone new.
Pick up an old hobby, an activity, or start a new one.
I mentioned jumping into dating being a distraction. With your new found free time that you have on your hands, find a healthy distraction. Maybe that’s getting back into something you once enjoyed but stopped having the time or priority for. Maybe it’s trying something new that had always interested you.
Become a better you than you were before.
Maybe that means getting back into an exercise regimen or changing your eating habits. Going after career goals that you may have put on hold or never acted upon. Further your education. Organize and declutter your home, let go of things that remind you of your past or that no longer add value. Start putting more into your saving or create a budget in order to adjust to being on your own again.
Don’t be nasty.
No matter how your relationships end, they all teach you something. What you do and don’t want the next time around. Characteristics that you are or aren’t compatible with. Lessons, experiences, and growth opportunities. How to love and be loved. Red flags and things you won’t put up with in the future. Even if it ended sour, be the bigger person and just trust that karma will do its job. Exchanging of hurtful words or exposing your ex won’t bring any positivity to your life.
At the end of the day, you have to pull yourself together and continue on regardless of which ending relates to you. There’s no better way to do so than bettering yourself and spreading good vibes. ✌️