The Catalyst to Peace

“Why are you here?” Naimah softly said.

“Why am I here? I thought we agreed to meet here?” Ricardo answered inquisitively.

“Oh, wait, I get it. Is that one of those 'are you living or existing' questions? Dang girl, this is our first date in how many years, and you’re starting off with something so profound?" Ricardo laughed.

“To live means to experience, regardless of the amount of time we spend on this earth. To exist means to only live, simply without experiencing. Why are you here means what are you doing in the here and now. Are you present? Are you waiting to live? Or have you been existing the whole time, hoping to live in the here and now?” Naimah said a little more assertively. “I’m just trying to figure you out, Ricky. I mean, we haven’t seen each other in years. You’ve been seeking me out me for weeks trying to impress me with this new you, and now that I’ve finally said yes you’re retreating behind sarcasm. So now that we are out, why not have a little conversation?” Naimah retorted matter of factly.

“Truth?” Ricardo asked while looking at his appetizer plate of beer battered onion rings

“Truth.” Naimah responded while taking a sip of her glass of Pinot.

“Well, I guess I’m existing hoping to live in the now; or, that was how I used to be. Now I’m here, which is why I’ve been so persistent on asking you out. You helped me become a better person. To actually see life and my surroundings and to help the people that didn’t benefit from the great things of life. I actually went to college on an academic scholarship and not on basketball. You showed me how to believe in something of value, even if it meant losing everything and everyone else. I no longer cared about being a sports star, I wanted more for myself. You showed me it was okay to have morals, to be respectful and compassionate to those who were different than me. I am better because of you. Every moment of my life has been influenced by you. Those short eight months getting to know everything there is to know about you has opened up a part of me that I’d never knew dwelled in me. From the moment you came into my biology class sophomore year and interrupted Mr. Haskins asking for help to the main office, you were imprinted on my entire being. I remember what you had on that day. You had on a red and yellow print top that wrapped around your waist, some black jeans that did you right, if you know what I mean, you wore these pinkish grey cowboy boots that I’ve never seen anybody wear, your hair was like Dorothy Dandridge in Carmen Jones, and you had on these big hoop earrings.You were so bold, unorthodox, but subtle and casual. Then you disappeared after eight months. It wasn’t until you walked by my store with that same confidence only you could possess that I still had to know more. Your presence is and always was intriguing.” Ricardo finally looked up at Naimah and spoke his mind in one breath. “You were my catalyst,” Ricardo muttered while staring at Naimah.

“And you were my peace.” Naimah said softly.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything then, Ricky? I mean, you were always so forthcoming with your words. I’ve never known you to be shy,” Naimah uttered.

“You left before I could tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“That I liked you and wanted you as more than just a friend. I was afraid I was too boring for you.”

“You thought you were too boring for me? With your reputation?” Naimah chuckled.

“Don’t laugh at me," Ricardo chuckled. “But yeah, I always felt you were too big for my britches. I played basketball, and sure, I was also homecoming king, prom king, and a ladies' man, but you saw right through me. I wasn’t cool enough for you, like you saw all of that before, all of what I was offering.”

“What makes you think that I had it all together?” Naimah questioned.

“I don’t know, I guess the way you really wouldn’t go to any school based activities or have a general sense of teenage fun unless it was with your other prodigy friends that liked foreign films and snuck into jazz clubs for 21 and older. Who talked about cubism, realism, impressionism, isms in general, Basquiat, and ate fancy dishes that I couldn’t pronounce, and would go to Paris for spring break. You smoked cigarettes and drank merlot, for pete’s sake. You were cultured at 16, and I spent all that time catching up to you,” Ricardo stated.

“I was pretentious at 16. I wanted to do all that fun normal teenage stuff, but I had partied myself out with my prodigy friends who thought they were better than me. All I wanted to do was eat cheeseburgers and drink soda, and get high and drunk at homecoming parties, have an awkward prom experience, and have my father ground me for breaking curfew. To fall in love, and it last until the first year of college, or however high school romances work. I was an adult because I had to be. I was never interested in being cultured so young. I was merely existing. That’s why I clung to you, Ricky, you were so lively and young and fun, and I was so deep and... and... and lonely. You were a different meaning of peace for me. My father was a poet laureate who travelled all the time. I saw him twice a year, and it was for a brief moment. I was technically on my own, with foreign films and old books from our library to teach me. I ran to Paris because it was where the films said you’d find love. Those prodigy friends were impossible to please, too. They were very judgmental about each other, we were never real friends. Some of them did any and everything under the sun just to fit in with one another, then turn around and compose and play powerful pieces, lock themselves away in a lab to help cure a disease or compete in whatever-a-thons. That is who they were from a very young age. They were products, Ricky. Scared children who had to pretend that they were smarter than their elders. They, no, we, were lonely. You were my only friend. You showed me what having fun was about, even when I didn’t want to. You helped exude a vibrance out of me, that was once so dreary," Naimah said to Ricardo. An awkward silence fell between the both of them as the continued to eat their meals.

“Well enough with all the sad memories, let’s make new ones,” Ricardo said somewhat joyfully.

“Like what, exactly?” retorted Naimah

“Like getting to know each other’s pet peeves, bad habits, expectations, dreams, and what have you.”

“Okay. Like knowing what each other’s views on politics and religion, what do we each define as entertainment, how we like to be entertained, who’s the greatest entertainer of all time living or dead, or do you prefer lazy Saturdays over lazy Sundays?” said Naimah.

“The greatest entertainer of all time living or dead is the easiest and most important question ever,” Ricardo answered.

“I agree, the answer determines whether or not we’re made for one another,” Naimah stated as she took another sip of her almost empty glass of Pinot.

“Very true,” Ricardo conferred. “So, let’s answer at the same time. Ready? 1..2..3...”

“MICHAEL JACKSON,” They both said in unison as they erupted into a fit of laughter.

“Well, well, well. It seems there is hope for us yet," Naimah laughed.

“Yeah, I think so,” said Ricardo, while flashing a smile.

“I’m glad you sought me out Ricky. I missed you.”

“I’m glad you stopped and heard me calling for you, my Naimah. I missed you too.”

“We should do this again, maybe next week?” Ricardo asked hopefully.

“Absolutely, Ricky. I’m looking forward to it,” Naimah said as they continued catching up with one another over dessert, in the here and now.