The Conversation

This past week I have been reconnecting with a lot of my fellow Canadians back home. With the distance, texts and messenger help to close the gap and time in between. With the time change as I wake, they are preparing to call it a day and visa versa. It just comes with the territory of wandering the globe.

As humans, we always looks at what others have and assume that it might be better, the grass is greener type of vibe. My buddy and I have been close since we were kids. It started with a flurry of fists, swears, and blood and continued with a handshake, too many shenanigans. We've always been opposites with our outlooks and positions in life. If anything, I always assumed he would be the world traveler and sending me stories from abroad, yet here I am in western Denmark as he tells me about life back in Alberta.

I followed the 50s expectations.

As we spoke, he subtly made a comment that gave me a flashback to men in suits and ties. Strolling to and from work, their wife holding down the domestic duties and the expected societal expectations. "I followed societies expectations from the 50s."

I was confused by this. Things seem to be moving well for him, but by who's standards? I paused and didn't know what to say to this. He wanted to do anything but fall into this trap of what has been fed to us since we were kids.

Go to University or go get a trade. Find a job. Find a partner. Buy house. The stereotypical process of Western society.

I pondered this more and more. Where did I fit? Do I conform to society's expectations and does it even matter? The conversation shifted to how he had always wanted to see the world and travel with nothing holding him back. He doesn't have any regrets about where he is now, life has made it more difficult to travel.

Mortgages, work, holiday.

More planning, more people to consider, more responsibilities.

While he spoke I pieced together this fantasy of home. Rolling hills, prairie grass wet with morning dew, the wind slightly blowing causing the flora to sway back and forth dancing rhythmically to the sounds of the world. The big sky of Alberta deep blue, open and peaceful. Living life simply, a small home, greenhouse, and animals around. My future partner and I rocking on a porch swing enjoy the setting sun as it lowered over the hills. A bright orange and pink sky settling into black as another day passed.

I had missed all the other parts that come with making a life and a home. Mainly, the money component of life and what that really looks like. Going to a job because you needed to, not because you always love it.

Seeing him happy but not fully content sparked a fire within me. He was the outgoing and charismatic one, the one that would have adjusted to the world without any issues and explored all it has to offer. In a way, I guess I picked up the torch for the life he wanted to live when we were young and he took up the life I thought I would have ended up with.

Nomad Livin

I think he too, has romanticized the life that I lead and thinks it is full of parties, new companions and seeing glorious sites as I play minor pro hockey. Funny enough, it is a lot of time spent on a bus, preparing for games, and seeing the inside of arenas.

It has its moments where it is unbelievable to see things and explore but most of these adventures happen before our training camps or when we have a weekend off. Most guys still have to make a living doing other forms of work. Hockey doesn't cover all the bills so work changes from construction to side jobs when called upon. Some days can be quite slow but living this life has its perks as well.

Being able to travel full countries and places that might not have been high up on my list has been a rewarding experience. At this point, I have seen most of Sweden and almost all of Denmark and met some amazing people through the sport and just living in the country.

There are two pieces that I do think are tough being nomadic. The first one is cultural and language components. There will always be pieces I will not understand because I was not born here, my Canadian accent will always shine through when I speak the language and what I deem to be socially acceptable can be seen as very old fashioned.

The second piece, you are always on the move and as much as you might like some areas, you will have to move along at the end of the day. Some of the connections and friendships you made might fade away but others will become stronger. It isn't always easy and it can be tough on the people you know back home. I personally find that some of my relationships become a little strained until I make it home.

Home will always be there.

As the conversation wound down, we both agreed that home was never going to go anywhere and that in the process we were creating our own homes in very different styles. We both yearned for different aspects from time to time but wouldn't change much about the paths we took. He found his partner and I have been able to continue chasing my dream throughout all of this, not letting pressures and expectations hold us back is the best thing we can do. Time keeps rolling along and societies views also change. Doing what makes you happy and sets up the life you want is key. We all need to have some interesting chapters in our book before it all ends. For now, he will live vicariously through me and I, through him.

Nomad vs. Homebody

There is nothing wrong with either choice when we look at what the world has to offer. Some of us are very comfortable seeing the world and being curious about what is around us. We need to play to what we value the most at the end of the day.

Being nomadic is a feeling of freedom, exploration, and experience. Every place that my shoes touch becomes a little piece of who I am. As I travel, a little piece of myself is left behind and in turn, I pick up something to carry with me as I travel forward. Whether that is food, culture, language, or people, they melt together to form a different view of the world and prepare me for home. It has taught me to be self dependent, curious, and not afraid to do something uncomfortable. While traveling, it will not always be a comfortable experience but with that each step taken forward opens a new door for self reflection, growth, and knowing that it is possible to make it on your own. I have found more proficiency in backing and only taking what is needed. One begins to learn that materials aren't all that important but the experiences and people can be beneficial career wise as new skills are developed along the path. It has its tough moments like anything but like any hard times, they will pass. If you have happy feet and nothing holding you down at home, why not get out there in the world to see what is out there? Who knows, you may even find your second home.

For my homebody friends, they love to see the world and travel too but they are more content seeing familiar streets, faces, and contributing to their communities and careers at home. They have developed a life with a partner usually and they are excited about creating the next step in their lives. Stability, community and the future are more their focus than "what's next." I commend them, many of my friends have built strong careers and created their own loving families. They have built roots and started their family trees, with this they have put in the work at a younger age to have other things later in life. In my view, this depends on what your goals are as a person and your relationships work as well. From what I have observed, it seems to be more single individuals globe trotting than setting roots but not always the case.

When I reminisce about all of this their are times I would love to set roots near the foot of the Rockies in Alberta and have my person with me. Most days I awake knowing that I have seen places and met people that I am grateful for. Doing anything else would not have yielded the same results. I still don't know what is best at this point but I do think it is a personal choice with both pros and cons to it. Until then me and my buddy will continue to live through each other.