The Cut Off

Welcome to 2018! The year where you learn to love yourself more than you love anyone else.

More than that man that uses you. What? Yeah. Him. He's using you.

You think he's in your corner, like he really has your back. He doesn't. When you need him, is he around? What's his excuse? He's busy? Well that axiom that mentions someone being busy and them thinking of you while they're busy is true. Well let me tell you, his business is more important than him checking on you or actually executing his end of the "friendship" YOU are TRYING to build (because he isn't doing anything but USING YOU). But at least he calls when he needs "to see you" right? Yeah. That's wrong too. Cut him off. He's unworthy, Queen.

So this year, leave people like him alone. Know how to recognize the signs of an opportunist or a user and cut him off. Or her. Whomever, whatever your preference. Leave their asses to worry about that business that is so much more important than you. Instead of worrying about him, worry about yourself. You're way more important.

Trust me.

Here's a story.

"Boy meets girl, girl perfect woman.." (Definitely said that in my Jay-Z voice.)

So guy meets woman. She's perfect, he thinks. The perfect opportunity for him. See, he needed somewhere to live and "come up." He had baggage and that baggage was the reason he was the way he was. She didn't know this. He lied about who he was, what he had done, where his life had taken him before meeting her. And he brought all that shit into her life. She fell in love (I would say "they fell in love" but he was never in love, he just needed her to turn his own "shit to sugar." Ever heard that?) She had a baby or two. They got married. Created a life together. But the life they created was not the one she imagined she would be living. It was his. His way or no way, so she allowed him to drag her and her values down to none just to make him happy and keep the family together. All she had to show for her existence during the past six to seven years were two beautiful children. So "man" left.

In essence, he left because his shit was now sugar and he didn't need her anymore. But she needed him. He was all she knew at that point and she had forgotten how to appreciate herself or be a strong woman, at that. She didn't know what her purpose was other than being mother and wife. The one person she had given her everything to took all of that everything and left with it. She didn't know where to pick up. Was there even anything left to pick up? Hell no. He took the crumbs too. Took her one year to finally realize that the shit she was trying to pick up wasn't even hers. Her heart was broken. That life that she had with him was not even hers. But he drained her and there was nothing left. So what the hell was she holding on to?

Not a damn thing.

See, the reality is, she lost herself. She lost her way worrying about a man that was only worried about himself. So after a year of tears and self-hatred and blame, she got the fuck up. She realized that as long as she stayed in the bed sulking and wiping tears, she would be that fat, black, ugly bitch that he said she was. Yeah, you read that correctly. He said all that to her. Is she fat? Hell no. Is she black? Nope. Brown. A smooth chocolatey something too! He knew it. He knew she was strong and powerful and beautiful. He knew she was a #queen, but the more he tore her down, the harder it would be for her to find her self worth again. And he was right. It was hard. As hell. Her own family got tired of seeing her beat down and they stopped handicapping her broken spirit. So she had no choice but to get the fuck up.

She shed that baby weight from her two-year-old daughter and her hair started growing and shining. She got her glow back. She stacked up some money, handled her business for her children, and started putting the pieces of herself back together. Notice I said here, "put back the pieces of herself back together." Not her life. See, your life follows a more intricate plan that you don't determine. It's up to you to make sure everything else is in line so your life can fulfill its destiny by the time you leave this earth. Her body looked different now. Her mind was clear and her heart was ready to love. She had become a woman over those seven years and she didn't even know it. She was a good mother and an excellent wife. But all that time, she didn't know it. She thought she was failing and she just wasn't good enough or pretty enough. But the problem was not her, it was him. She didn't know her self-worth anymore.

But she was a real woman. A beautiful #Queen. Her mind was different. She knew that now, anyone that came into her life would have to figure out their own way. She couldn't help with that because no one would ever strip her of all her happiness and self-worth ever again.

That girl was me.

So now, #queens, 2018 is your time. If you give any of that time to anyone and they blatantly show you that they don't appreciate the energy you give them..... Take. That. Shit. Back.

And cut them off. Because one thing you can't get back is time. So cherish every moment and appreciate yourself. You are worth more than a phone call every three days or a two day old text response telling you, "I was busy." Fuck that.

Embrace your WORTH and "Let that hurt go suh" (That one was for the culture. Can't ever forget about the culture).

Peace,

Urs Truly.