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The Difference a Mattress Made in My Marriage

Even the little things in life can be daunting if you're not well-rested enough to deal with them.

Recently, my husband and I went through a difficult time. We were able to get through it but I wanted to share my story because I feel like a lot of people have the same problems. The devil truly is in the details and it’s often forgotten how small changes can have such a big impact in improving your life. Oftentimes we don't even think about these small details; but after a change is made, we don't know how we ever lived without them.

Fortunately we were able to find the root of our problems and fix the foundational details that were causing them. You might think I’m crazy to say this but we really do believe a mattress saved our marriage.

Our days started to look the same, day after day.

The biggest challenge in my relationship over the past few years has been that my husband Leo and I are both overtired, overworked, and struggle to find energy to put into our relationship. We were exhausted almost all the time.

We’d wake in the morning feeling just as sore and tired as we were when we laid down the night before. We struggled to find the energy to make our marriage exciting, and this began to scare me. I wasn't sure if this was something that happened in all relationships, or if there was something really wrong with ours. I tried to talk to him about it but he would just say that of course nothing was wrong and he loved me just as much as he always had.

"We’re just not in the honeymoon stage anymore," he told me.

He was never one to really talk about his feelings much.

Eventually, I couldn’t ignore the issues we were having anymore.

I started trying to get down to the root of why we didn’t have the energy to spend time with each other anymore. I thought back to when we first got together and how much energy and motivation we put into spending time together. We were always doing sweet things for each other. Sometimes we’d wake up on Saturday and go for a hike or rock climbing. It had been awhile since we’d one of those weekends, which was unlike us. We were always the active couple, not the people sitting on the couch ignoring each other while we scrolled through our phones.

One day at lunch with my friends, I started venting about all these thoughts I was having.

I told them about how Leo and I wander around the house like irritable zombies all day, tossing and turning all night.

"I'm freaked out, guys," I told them. "Do you think we should take a break or something? It’s been this way for months now. I don't know what to do."

It was my friend Christina who then asked me, "How long have you had your mattress?" This seemed like a strange response to my serious question.

"What? I don't know. Leo's parents gave it to us when he moved out of their house," I told her.

"Mattresses don't last forever," she said, "and if you feel like you're walking around the house like a zombie, you should consider buying a new one. I ordered one from Lull and it's the best decision I ever made."

"Yeah, but mattresses are expensive, and I have been saving up for other things. A mattress isn’t the kind of thing I want to spend a paycheck on," I told her.

Then she started telling me how she ordered a mattress online, it was shipped to her house, and it did not cost anywhere close to what she’d expected. I was skeptical, because although I love ordering everything online, a mattress just seems like the type of thing that you’re supposed to go to the store and pick out. At least that's what my mom would've told me. 

I trust Christina more than I trust myself so I decided to hear her out.

Next thing I know, we left the café and walked to her apartment a few blocks away. I sat on her bed (which was actually made neatly, unlike mine) and I was shocked.

"My bed is so much lumpier than this," I said.

"I know. I slept on it when I was dog sitting for you and I woke up with a stiff neck. I meant to tell you but I forgot to mention it until now," she told me.

I wanted to know more about this. Normally, I would never think of impulse buying an important purchase like this, but that’s what is so great about mine and Christina's friendship. She is the yin to my yang and if she says that this one is the best, it must be true.

Back at my apartment, I rambled to Leo about it. I told him how they ship it to your house in a box and you don't even have to be home, how it costs less than a regular mattress, and that it’s one of the most comfortable things I've ever experienced.

"Christina says it's the best," I told him. "Plus, if we don't like it, we can send it back. She said they have a really great trial period.”

I don’t think he wanted to argue with me so we ordered it.

I was so excited when we got our mattress! Next thing I knew, it was Saturday morning and I woke up feeling incredible. Leo was still asleep so I turned to grab my phone off the dresser. It was 11:00. I tapped him on the shoulder. "Leo, we slept 'til 11:00!"

I think he was in shock because he didn’t open his eyes at first. Then, stretching out, he grabbed his phone to confirm what I had just told him.

He shot up in bed saying, "I haven't slept until 11:00 in, I don't know, years."

He got up, made coffee, and brought me a cup while I lounged in bed. We sat there for a while just flipping through channels. I couldn’t remember the last time we had just laid together without feeling like we had a million things to take care of as soon as our eyes opened.

We stayed in bed for a long time that morning—and have for quite a few mornings since then. Since we both work long days doing a lot of physical labor, we should have known how important a good night's sleep is. That's when I really realized that we all put so much strain on ourselves mentally and physically. If we don’t give our bodies the chance to recuperate, how can we expect to feel ready to tackle the day? When you work hard, your body needs to rest. If you’re not sleeping well, your body is not going to be feeling its best. That tired, overwhelmed feeling will easily seep into your life in ways you never expected. That’s the message I wanted to get across with this story, to be good to your body; and now, I'm good to my body every night when I crawl into bed. And trust me, it pays off in dividends every morning when my alarm goes off—and every day in my relationship.

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