The Dog That Ended It All

#MyWorstDate

The Dog That Ended It All

It was the Halloween of 2016 and I was living in my first apartment. I had met this guy on a dating app and he was coming over when he got off of work. Can I tell you how thrilled I was? I hadn’t gone out in months and he was just my type—tall, blond, and had a motorcycle.

So there I was, around ten PM, putting on my make up when he texts me that he’s outside. I rush out to meet him in the lot and he’s everything he was supposed to be, down to the charming smile. With my heart beating like a drum, I led him into my place so I could finish getting ready. My roommate was hanging out in our living room with her dog. Vital detail: this dog can be very aggressive. This, however, I don’t even think of. I pull mister tall and blond inside and introduce him to my roomie and her dog. Everything starts off fine, but when my roommate gets closer to my date, her dog starts growling a little. This, it should be noted, is not unusual for this dog. However, it quickly passes and I tell my roommate to stay with my date and her dog so I can toss on some eyebrows and be out the door.

This is where it all goes wrong…I’m walking into the bathroom not ten feet away and I hear this beautiful, statuesque man yell. My roommate had walked into the kitchen while he was petting her dog and her pet had bitten into my date’s face! I don’t mean a nibble, I mean his nose had split on each side and his nostrils were no longer attached to his face!

As I ran for the bleeding man, my roommate grabbed her dog and dragged him into her room, slamming the door shut. I went to assess the damage on this poor soul’s face and he was insisting that it wasn't that bad and went outside to keep from bleeding on my carpet! That was where I spent the next fifteen minutes convincing him that he did actually have to go to the hospital to be looked at, and yes, I would be driving.

To make all of this worse, as I’m leaving to take him to the ER, my ex pulls up to my apartment to hang out with my roommate and her boyfriend.

Fast forward thirty minutes and my date and I are sitting in the emergency room, explaining that we didn’t, in fact, know each other and this was all supposed to be a first date that we would now be spending in the hospital. Of course, we all know that emergency rooms have priority level that they have to go through, so any visit takes forever, but this was Halloween. The ER had more than a few “I had a few too many and did something stupid” accidents to handle ahead of us, so nine hours later he had thirty stitches in his face, and I was definitely finding a new roommate.

Bright side: he does still text me every once in a while, but I don’t think that night is one that he or I will soon forget.