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The Downfall of a Neurotypical Female

(The Not So Fairy Tale)

Every Disney movie has the same plot for the most part. Seriously. A princess in a dire situation is on the cusp of doom when a prince rushes in to save her. I came to realize this when I was 15, and I began to wonder if true love was real. I came to the conclusion that no, there was no destined soul mate for everyone. It was more just finding someone you could tolerate and settling down.

This was the first true disappointment of my life. I had put so much faith in the idea of love, and to realize it was a lie was slightly maddening but mostly disheartening.

I never had a real, deep feeling relationship as a student in high school. School dances didn't interest me; things that fell under the subject of "Girly" didn't interest me. I was, for all extensive purposes, that weird girl who looked like she would rather stick her hand in sulfuric acid over straightening her hair (which was, and still is, true).

Do you see where I am going with this? My entire life I avoided real love because I didn't believe in it. It was a sham. Valentine's day was for sappy people who fell for the notion of the prince and princess riding off into the sunset.

Skip ahead. I am 23 years old. I have a daughter that I am raising as a single mother. She is my days and nights, the only eternal companion I could ever dream of having. I am living a stable, happy life; I never see the sucker punch coming my way via Facebook.

"I have someone I would like you to talk to. I think you might like him." Ah, the old friend who I haven't talked to since I was 17 still trying to make me believe in that old fairy tale. But I did it.

Gods help me, I did.

He was smart, funny, odd (in the most delicious way). We messaged for hours, and by the time he said goodnight, there was a spark inside of me. Here was someone who I wanted to date; there was no point denying it to myself. I took the initiative. I asked him for a date.

He ended up dating a girl I knew in high school, and I ended up spending two hours ranting and raving to that old friend, swearing off love and men (again).

A few months later, he messages me. Can we talk; can we hang out. And so I fall for it. I know what you are thinking. "But you swore off love and men and all of that, didn't you?" Yes, I did. Except for him. That spark may have diminished, but it never completely went out. He was too much to walk away from. A huge personality inside of a witty mind.

That was almost three years ago.

We live together now. He has adopted my daughter, and given me a beautiful son. I won't lie to you, we do have fights (this still isn't a fairy tale), but for all of that, there is so much love. The kind of love that gets you up every morning at three to make sure he is set for work and make sure his head is in the right place. The kind of love that requires you to give up your quirks to indulge his (like the need for all things that come in multiples to be even).

Maybe true love had always existed, but I had just been looking in all of the wrong places.You see, the king of my heart has Asperger's, a high functioning form of autism. There are days where he doesn't want to be touched; doesn't want to talk. And that's okay, because I know at the end of the day, when we lay in bed, we will sleep together with skin touching skin, and the last words will always be those typical fairy tale words:

I love you.

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