The Dreaded Distance Debate

Long late night phone calls — or early morning ones — love letters, the belief that distance making our hearts grow fonder. The idyllic dream of the long distance relationship being a book worthy tale which more often than not can end up being a bunch of unanswered texts or phones calls, and wondering whether staying up in the middle of the night because your partner is in a different time zone just to have a 5 minute conversation is worth it.

Each long distance relationship situation is different. Obviously, because no two people are alike. But forever — it seems — we've been in a debate about whether:

A) All long distance relationships are doomed from the beginning.

B) They are worth the effort or will they eventually result in option A.

However if we look back through history, many lovers spent months if not years waiting to be reunited with each other. They were separated by war, disease, religion, social hierarchy with only letters, telegrams or telephones to keep them in contact. Where long distance may have been a more accepted way to continue a relationship back then, it seems to have lost its acceptance in modern society. In an age where communication can be done in many forms from just about anywhere, our ability to remain dedicated to someone at a distance has almost been lost entirely. I believe this is purely due to the fact that with more communication available to us, the likelihood of meeting new people is much higher than before. We live in a world with constant stimulation and if we aren't receiving what we feel is substantial, its believed much easier to entertain ourselves and move on elsewhere.

So which side of the fence am I on... Option A or Option B? Well, I'm actually a firm believer in Option C.

C) Long Distance Relationships are hard, but worth it with the right two people.

I'm coming up to a year with my current partner which for 98% of the time has been at a distance — sometimes on the opposite side of the globe. This isn't my first time learning the hard lessons that distance can teach, as previously I was a firm believer in Option A — due to past relationship failures. I met my current partner on a beachside dock in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and left hastily the next day for 6 weeks in Cuba. We didn't speak during those 6 weeks, but did run back into each other 6 weeks later on the same dock. After 5 incredible days, our long distance journey began. Since then we've spent time together all over — Bermuda, Washington, Fort Lauderdale, Orlando, Aruba — and have been even further away from each other as well — Australia, Canada, Bahamas. So how have we remained positive that this is worth it? How have we made it work? And how do we continue to grow in our relationship at a distance?

It really is all about communication; being open, honest, and up front about each others expectations. Having a goal that both parties are working towards together and not actually spending too much time away at once. I have found the 3 month barrier to be just a little too long. Once every 2 months has worked best for us if we couldn't organise sooner, and of course making time for each other on a daily basis to hear how each other is doing.

In conclusion, it's definitely not the easiest route, but between the right two people it can teach you a lot about each other and how to better yourselves for the future. Knowing that each day we get closer to finally ending our distance and being together full-time is also another journey I can't wait to experience together.