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The Essential Heartbreak

From Hurt to Hopeful

Oh, heartbreak. I know what it is; you know what it is; everyone knows what heartbreak is. While there are many different variations of heartbreak, and different reasons you may experience heartbreak, it's not an easy thing to go through and handle.

I think the first time I ever experienced true heartbreak, the kind you want to quit what you're doing, curl up under the sheets, and eat the Velveeta right out of the box, was back in my junior college days. I was super interested and invested in a girl. I think it's safe to say she was my first ever love. We were best friends. We texted, Snapchatted, and spent TIME together. We knew each other. I could confide in her about anything and everything, and the same went for her with me. It was nothing for people to assume that we were together, hanging out watching movies or going to Chili's and eating her favorite thing: chips and salsa with ranch. I had developed strong, strong feelings for her, and I had decided to tell her. She deserved to know, as I deserved the right to tell her. But, fate had a different way of wanting to deal with that.

On the morning of the day I was going to tell her, I received a notification from Facebook telling me she had changed her relationship status to "In a Relationship." I knew nothing of the boy she was now dating. I felt betrayed; a big slap to the face and that our friendship meant nothing. I cried. I cried a lot that day. 

After this, I kept these feelings bottled up, trying to internalize what had happened, and I still haven't told her what I wanted to tell her that day. I tried to continue to be friends with her, but she didn't seem to want that. I tried to keep the friendship alive, by inviting her to hang out like we used to do, but got nowhere with that. Slowly but surely, she stopped talking to me altogether. I haven't talked to her for a few years now. Before moving away, I tried every avenue possible to reconnect with her, but she never responded. This got me to think about what I had lost.

I lost out on the opportunity for more laughs. I lost out on more smiles (if you read my last article, you'll wonder why that's important). I lost a best friend.

I never thought I could get through a heartbreak like that: losing the one person you centered all your thoughts around.

If this girl reads this I just have one thing to say to you.

Thank you.

Yes, what you did to me hurt like pure hell, but I grew from that. I grew to appreciate, and respect others', feelings. I became a person that is a little more guarded with who he spends his time with, and who he wants as friends. Through this heartbreak, I developed a friendship that means the world to me; SHE is my best friend now and I wouldn't trade her for the world. I now see through the perspective that heartbreak is essential; it's a part of becoming you. 

So, to get back to the point of this article: heartbreak freakin' sucks. Sometimes, it's not fair that we have to suffer while others thrive. But it's what we do in those times of suffering that define who we are, and the different person we want to become. 

Many of you know that I am a social worker. I work with oppressed and discriminated people on a daily basis. Having a fixation on the heartbreak is normal. But, by utilizing your personal strengths, you can become the best you that you can possibly become. 

 Imagine what would have happened in the Harry Potter series had Harry stopped fighting Voldemort when he witnessed Cedric, Sirius, or Dumbledore die. The story would've been very different, and we wouldn't have the saga that we have today. 

Your book doesn't stop once heartbreak happens. Keep writing, and see where the story takes you. You may be surprised as to who you'll meet, and where life will take you. 

My story is long from being finished, and I would not be where I am today had it not been for heartbreak. I've become a stronger, more self-aware person. My hope is that you discover yourself, even if it means suffering temporarily. 



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