The Ex Files

So I had this friend, the key word being HAD, that hooked up with my ex-boyfriend and then lied to me. What a shitty thing to do, right?! The sad part is, girls apparently do this to their “friends” a lot. Is it worth it? Has this happened to you? Are you the friend that hooked up with your best-friend's ex? If so, continue reading as I’m going to share my experience with you:

Being a woman, you know that there are many unspoken rules. For instance, you shouldn’t put another woman down. Instead, we should be supportive of one another (#womensupportingwomen). The best free therapy I’ve ever received was being drunk in a ladies' bathroom at the bar and talking with OTHER drunk girls about our exes, old backstabbing friends, and our shitty jobs. Life would be much better if everyone was a drunk girl in the bathroom.

Another unspoken rule would be to NEVER date your friend's ex. Ladies, this is a big one. And I can tell you firsthand how shitty that is.

THE EX FILES:

You know the old saying, “there are plenty of fish in the sea”? Well, it makes sense. It all started a few years ago. I had rekindled a friendship with someone whom I wasn’t too fond of in high school (and now I know why). We actually became pretty close. We would go to parties together, text regularly, and seemed to have a lot in common. We had a lot of fun together and actually started to feel bad for being such a bitch to her when we were younger.

Back in August of 2013, I received a text from her after not hearing from her for quite awhile. We quickly caught up via text, when she decided to slip in the, “sorry I’ve been distant! I’m sort of seeing someone!”

I responded with a “That’s awesome! Is he from around here?” Her answer was pretty simple: “He is awesome! So funny and cute! And no he’s not from around here… You don’t know him.”

Do you guys want to hear the best part? I did know him. I dated this guy for 5 years! Yes, ladies, my friend was dating my EX!

I was annoyed and I felt betrayed. What bothered me the most was that she had lied to me, to my face, more than once. However, I took the high road. I played along and kept acting like I didn't know she was a backstabbing, lying sneak, and told her I was happy for her. I even went as far as saying I'd like to meet this stud (even though I knew him more than she probably did).

Thinking back now, I think that would have been hilarious if I walked into a bar and saw the two of them sitting there together causally having a drink.

Fast forward to my birthday month, January. It was my 25th birthday and a friend of mine had just started to DJ at Park East, (please don’t judge me. I know that place is filled with skanks and meatheads). I invited a bunch of people, my ex, and my lovely friend included (separately, though). For some reason, I was actually excited that my ex (did I mention this ex I’m referring to is now my husband? No? Well, it makes this 100,000 times more interesting) said that he would go. We were still pretty good friends and up until a few months prior to my birthday, he had been living in another state. At that point, I think it had been about three years since we’ve seen one another. In typical Austin fashion, he sent me on a wild goose hunt that night in the bar to look for him. Then he texts and says “something came up. I can’t make it. Sorry.” About ten minutes later, I get the SAME EXACT TEXT from my friend. At the time, I didn’t even think twice about it.

Fast forward now to February. My ex and I decided to go out on a date. We met at a dive bar in Hazlet. So romantic! One thing quickly led to another and BOOM, we were in a relationship again.

One night we were casually talking and he had mentioned something that reminded me of her. He said, "I think it's gross when females have abs. I had hooked up with someone who did and it was gross." I knew I could break him!

I said, "Oh, was it ________?" He said yes right away like it was nothing. And it really was nothing at this point. BUT, I couldn't stand getting another text from her knowing what I knew and knowing that she was still lying to me about it.

I decided to reach out to her and let her know that I knew she was hooking up with my ex, and she was so reluctant to be honest with me.

I think the worst part of all this was the fact that she lied to me numerous times about it. To be honest, at the time they were “together” I didn’t think I still had feelings for him, so I probably wouldn’t have cared. But if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a liar. If you’re going to be a terrible friend, don’t make it worse and lie about it. She instantly said sorry and said she knew she was a bad friend, blah, blah, blah.

Long story short: If for some reason you feel like your friend's ex is the one you're meant to be with, here is some friendly advice: TALK TO YOUR FRIEND FIRST! There is no such thing as 'one person for everyone.' You're making yourself look bad in the process. This story is a prime example. I'm happily married now and I think she is too?