The First Date I Ever Went on: #MyWorstDate

The Prelude:

The heart of ninth grade rendered itself as the time marker for the first budding relationship I had ever developed with a female since finding out about puberty. I was 13 years old and really exceptionally awkward around females that weren't long time family friends. I crushed on every girl in school that so much as passed a wave toward me without fulfillment until, out of the backdrop, came my first chance at a date.

Just like any typical Wednesday evening in the fall, I had gotten out of school and finished my chores before running to my neighbor's house and joining in the drama there. The acceptably typical crowd made up the congregation: Michael Kruse, Judd Hunt, KayKay Kruse, Theo Stroup, and Jessica Keels. This day wasn't too abnormal, to say the least. I bounced between hanging out in the backroom with the boys, smoking cigarettes Michael had stolen from his parents and following the girls around to watch them plan their dance moves for the dance team. This went on the whole evening until some time after Theo, Judd, and Michael had left to go spend the night at Judd's. Shortly after they left, I managed to get myself into a conversation with Jessica. She was friendly enough and we had been around each other numerous times before, as she was constantly over at the Kruse house with the rest of what some might call a gang.

It wasn't a deep conversation, just a brushing over of school events. She mentioned her brothers had been fighting. We kinda made some small talk about pretty much nothing I can remember and it was over. KayKay came in and started chattering up Jessica and I sat back and minded my own business for a moment before KayKay left the room again. I decided it was time for me to go home, but something in my gut told me to wait just a moment. I waited, said goodbye to KayKay, and then awkwardly started to bid my leave from Jessica when I blurted out, "You wanna be my girlfriend?"

I was fully thinking she would say no or make some excuse. How surprised was I when she actually said a meek, "Yeah?"

Really excited is how excited.

The Actual Date:

It had been exactly two weeks since Jessica became my girlfriend. I didn't really know what a girlfriend was supposed to do with her boyfriend yet, but I was willing to learn. The process of learning led me to a supervised night at the movie theater, fully equipped with: parents who won't be in the same movie, my best friend, Michael Kruse, as the third wheel, and the expected awkwardness of pubescence.

The drive went smoothly. It was filled with light talk about the different schools we went to and utter silence from everyone else in the vehicle. I was so happy I had finally landed a girlfriend that I didn't even bother thinking about how wrong anything could go. I just assumed things would be great.

When the vehicle arrived at the theater, it became less awkward for me. I got out, opened her door for her, and led her, my parental escort, and Michael Kruse up to the ticket booth. The line was mid-sized for the theater and went quickly. Me and Jessica got tickets to Love, Actually and left behind my dad and Kruse to go into our movie. The credits rolled and we took our seats. Everything was going smoothly up to the end of the beginning credits. She started looking pale, and shortly into the beginning scenes, she asked me to come with her to the bathroom. I didn't have a clue what was going on at all. Then we got to the bathroom and just as my pubescent mind started to think things could turn cheesy porno sexual, she ran into a stall and started hurling. So I held her hair until she told me to just go and then waited for her outside the bathrooms. When she came out she didn't want to talk, and an awkward silence ensued. The silence continued the rest of the movie, the ride home, and all the way into the next few times seeing each other over at the neighbor's house.

The wonderful finality of it came a week after the last time I had seen her. She called and said she was breaking up with me. She gave no explanation. I didn't bother asking for one, either. Although, I was a little upset about ending my first relationship, and found out years later that she was just sick that day and the reason she ended the relationship was because KayKay was telling her friends that me and her were sleeping together, thus ending the story of my first dating fail.