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The Hierarchy of the People in our Lives

Where do people fall in your life?

The year comes and the year goes. Like every other year, events will take place, you will experience certain things in your life, and people will come in and out of your life. We all attract different types of people in our lives. Sometimes these people can be a blessing or a karmic lesson. After all, our universe is nothing more than a university where we all must eventually graduate from in order to ascend to the next level. We are here to learn until the day we depart from this life and people are the teachers that help us do that. Some of these people are here to teach us literally by showing us the way, others teach us lessons through experiences. Some of them put us through such negative and painful experiences that we have no choice but to learn from them and be better, smarter, and stronger than the way we were before we met them. 

Due to this, it’s important to know where people fall into our lives. There are those who love to fraternize with the same types of people time and time again. Yet, they do not understand why they keep going through certain experiences with those same toxic individuals. For instance, men and women who are always selecting relationship partners who cheat on them, abuse them or like to keep friends who do nothing but use them for their resources and take advantage of their friendship. Like the pyramid in  the picture, understanding what role people play in your life can help you avoid the negative ones and keep those who came into your life to help you grow and evolve.


First thing first, you should always come first. People who do not realize how important they are, tend to put the wrong people before them. Even in relationships, if you don’t love yourself, some people will use that to their advantage. Understanding, loving and knowing thyself are the main key factors to growing and becoming the person you need to be. No matter how many amazing people you have in your circle, you should be the most important person to you.

Soulmates and Twin Flames

Now I put soulmates and twin flames in the same rank, although they are two different types of people and I will go over each of them individually. Soulmates are those people we consider family even if we may not be related to them by blood. It is said that we come into this life with our soulmates as well as our nemesis. Sometimes they are closer to us than those people we grew up with. These are the people who come into our lives with the sole purpose to help us become the being we were meant to be. What we do not realize, however, is that we have more than one soulmate in this life. In some cases, we have a soulmate with whom we are so compatible with that we select them to be our marriage partner and make the decision to settle down with them and have a family. Aside from soulmates, we have twin flames. These individuals are some of the rarest people to find because they are the missing piece of ourselves that makes us whole. It is said that twin flames share a connection that can never be broken. When they come together, it is almost impossible to tear them apart. A twin flame will not only understand your inner self, but he or she may also know about your secrets and the things you love and fear. This is why they are one in a billion.


These are the groups of people that we belong to. There’s a quote that goes, “Your vibe attracts your tribe.” These people share similar energy vibrations to us, our ideas, viewpoints in life and sometimes even the same or similar life experiences. A family member doesn’t always have to be our relative. Which brings me to the misconception about a family that just because someone is related to you that gives them certain privileges over others. When in reality, your family can be just about anyone. A family member can be your best friend, the kid you grew up with since grade school who is still in your life today, someone you go to church with, or even someone who is a member of a certain social group or club that you belong to. People in your circle are your true family members whether they are related to you or not. In some culture, close relatives such as parents and siblings have priority over spouses or relationship partners. While it is understandable to honor your parents and love your siblings, however, the person whom you chose to have your own family with should have the most priority. They are your true family. This is where a lot of relationships suffer because you will have some people who will allow their closest relatives to disrespect and treat their relationship partner in an unacceptable manner. Not knowing that a true family will not only support who you choose to be with, but they will also support any of your decisions in life as long as it will benefit you and only you. Some relatives who consider themselves family members are only around for the need of companionship, social empowerment and/or financial and monetary gains. A true family will always have your best interest at hand. They will always want to see the best for you even if they may not get a portion in your success. Your family will always know that your success and happiness is also their success and happiness.


The meaning of the word friend gets tossed around very loosely these days. A friend like a family member, not a relative, is someone who has your best interest at hand and who will always be in your corner when you need them. They may not be as close to you as a family member but they are always there whenever you need moral support. These people are the branches that connect you to other people in life. They help form a web of people that love and appreciate one another. In time, a friend can become part of your family. Other times friends can drift apart and the friendship no longer exists. Good friends are hard to come by so if you have a few of them, it’s in your best interest to keep those people around.

Acquaintances and Associates

Acquaintances and associates are the ones you meet through work, school, at a club or at any random place. These are the people we spark a conversation with and sometime may end up becoming our friends later on down the road. The main factor about an acquaintance is that they play a role in our social life or in our workplace, however, they should not have a part in our personal lives. These people do not necessarily need to know about the things that are going on in our home or even about the relationships that we’re in. They are not the people whom we should share personal information with as they may take that information and use it as they see fit. Sometimes we tell an acquaintance about something that’s happening in our personal lives, only to have this act comes back to bite us in the butt later. An acquaintance has no knowledge of our situations and the people close to us so they will always judge a situation or even the people we know based on their own prejudice or the perception they have on them.

Everyone Else

This section should be reserved for those people I like to call the leaves in our tree of life. They come into our lives and like the leaves in a tree, they eventually fall off only to make room for new ones. This is also where we put all the negative people in our lives even some relatives. People always say “family is family” and that we should give them special treatment and have a higher tolerance for their mischievous activities and stupidity. If someone cannot be a positive influence in your life, then they should not be a part of it. The people who fall in this little section called "Everyone Else" should never get any type of priority.

We need to know and understand where people in our lives fall in this list. Sometimes we put the wrong people in the wrong place. We treat acquaintances like family and family like everyone else. In addition, we sometimes think of someone as a soulmate only to find out later in life that they were just a karmic teacher whose sole purpose was to not be a blessing, but to teach us a lesson through a painful experience. Now even highly negative people have their purpose, however, we should not keep negative people around as their vibes and their actions will only create rifts, division and chaos in our world. Once you’ve dealt with a negative person, this then should be the point where we shake them off and let them go even if they are relatives. Life is way too short to allow negative people to invite grief, misery, let downs and chaos in it. Sometimes during family gatherings and holidays, we tend to endure the negativity of others by accepting their presence in our home and force ourselves to tolerate their nonsense. Regardless of their status or their relationship to us, negative people should not have any business being in our presence creating turmoil and disrupting the positive flow of energy in our environment. Unfortunately, we must have negative people around because apparently, this is how the universe maintains its balance. However, how we handle the negativity and whether we choose to keep those who are responsible for it around is a choice that we will always have and that can never be taken away from us. So if you’re going to choose, always choose to keep those who are here to love you for you and help you evolve. After all, evolution cannot exist without love.

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