The Idea of a Relationship/Love

When you get into a new relationship, it's all butterflies in your stomach, blue skies, sweet melodies, rainbows, and unicorns. Everyone in a relationship goes through this phase, we call it the “honeymoon phase.” After this, everything becomes somewhat normal, and the real ones thug it out, and love still blossoms, some give-up, and move onto the next one. But when you are in a relationship, it's important to know, or figure out, "where your heart is,” no matter the phase you're in, it will help you know where you’re going in the relationship, and if you should put any effort in.

I was in a relationship that passed the honeymoon phase, but through the course of the relationship I began to realize a few things. There is something called “loving the idea of a relationship,” or “loving the idea of love." To put it simply; it's when you want to be in a relationship or are in one, just because it sounds nice. Like saying “I love him,” it sounds cool right... Someone asks, “Do you wanna go to the park with me,” you don’t care for the park, but the park looks pretty, dogs and kids are playing around, couples are smiling, the birds are chipping, so you say why not, let's go to the park. That might have been a bad analogy, but I'm saying that, you don’t really love the person, you just are in the relationship because you wanna say, oh, I have a boyfriend, oh, my girlfriend did this. That’s when you love the idea of a relationship, and not the person. I think this may be more common with younger people, like teenagers and younger, who have no business being in a relationship, AKA me, because we don’t know much at this stage–I know I didn’t, but you live and you learn.

I necessarily didn’t want a relationship just because of the idea of it, there are other factors that made me begin the relationship, but that’s not the point here. I loved this person, I really did, was it in a more romantic way, we’ll get into that in another story, but I slowly, and I mean slowly, like “Despacito-ing" that s***, began to realize that I was happier... telling people about my boyfriend than I was... actually talking to the said boyfriend. It's almost as if it was an accomplishment for me, like people would see me in a bigger light for being in a relationship. It's like I would get points, or some stupid stuff like that, for telling people I had a boyfriend. When I was home, I barely talked to my boyfriend, I didn’t give him all the attention he deserved, was I a bad person for doing that? think what you want. But, there, I just gave you one sign to know if this is you, if you are just in it because of the idea. I believe I knew where my heart was before that relationship, but I let other things crowd my mind, and I sort of was thinking with my head, but I didn’t know better.

Being in a relationship because of the idea of it, is not real love. We owe it to ourselves, and to our partners, to find real love. You have to take a step back and figure out why the person you’re with makes you happy. Life is too short to not experience the real thing, and don’t waste any other person's time either. Because love is a beautiful thing, a crazy thing too, and a painful thing sometimes... But, let's not lose the point here people; it is a beautiful thing. I should just stop here.

If you are feeling the love, a small gift to me below would help me grow, and would be very much appreciated 🙂