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The Last Letter...

To the Guy I Tackled...

To the guy I tackled, 

You may never get to read this, but I hope one day you do. I just wanted to tell you that you've been everything to me. My king, my love, my home, my best friend. And you've given me so many adventures in the last three years. We've been through hell and back, and you taught me so much. 

And if you're reading this, well, this is my last letter so far... My last writing. I actually hadn't started writing as much as I did till I met you. I didn't know that I could express such beauty and emotion. 

Many of my writings, as I'm sure you could tell, are about you. You have been my greatest muse. You're the reason I was able to put such real emotion into my writings, because every emotion I ever felt for you was so real and so pure.

You're the one who broke down all my walls. You put all my insecurities away. When I was with you, I was the best part of me, a part I had no idea was even there. You made my life story and our love story one that is more than worth it to tell. 

There's so much I want to tell you. So much that has been left unsaid...I know that you think I gave up on you and tossed you to the side, and I know that I ended up making you feel worthless and for that I am truly sorry. I never meant for that to happen. All I wanted was so badly to show you that I love you, that all I want is you. But ever since I lost you, I have become someone else. Like I don't even remember how to show love or how to tell you just how much I love you without questioning if I did the right thing cause you're no longer mine.

I don't know if I'll ever have the privilege of calling you mine again. So if I can't have you, I just want to let you know that you have been the greatest thing to ever happen to me despite our hurts and differences. I love you. I've always loved you even when we both let go of each other. And if one day you find your person, your soulmate, and you fall so deeply in love with her, I hope she'll make you happy; but I also hope that if you find yourself thinking of me, I hope you'll smile. 

I know that I'm not perfect. In fact, I'm far from it. But so much perfect imperfections broke through when I had you. I smiled more, I laughed more, I was more confident, I wrote, I did so much with you. There was so much that we did. So many inside jokes and cherishable memories. 

I always went to you when I wrote something. Always asking for your opinion. You always said that I was your favorite author. Now I have nothing to write about I can't keep writing without you. I can't even look at the stars without bursting into a puddle of tears. I miss you. I want you to know that. You're the one person who showed me what it's like to really love someone. 

You're the one person who brought out my brightest smile and my hardest laugh. You're always the reason I smiled and even sometimes the reason I cried. Always my favorite hello and forever my hardest goodbye. I hope our story continues one day. I love you. 

Until next time...

All my Love, 

The girl that tackled you. 

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