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The "Look"

Can you tell if a person is romantically interested in you just by the way they look at you?

By Ally GPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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This picture is me knowing I'll never see A again after this school year ends...

I doubt anyone on this site would care for a story such as this (because it's more of my real life feelings for some dude). And I'm not really writing this for the money or the views, I just need to get this out of my head.

So, there's this guy in my school, I'll call him A here. We're both seniors in high school and since the beginning of the school year, which is ending in a week, I've taken a notice to how A would look at me. It was a way no boy has ever looked at me. I'm around many males all the time in school and none of them have ever looked at me the way A did. I can't exactly explain the look, but it was as if he just cared for me and wanted to love me even without ever actually having a conversation with me (if that makes sense). For a while, I was convincing myself that this "look" didn't mean anything, because I personally don't have the highest self-esteem and didn't believe any man would be looking at me in such a way. After a while, I started to convince myself that maybe I was crazy and the "look" didn't mean anything, because why would it mean anything if A never even talked to me or tried to.

After the first two months of school, I stop trying to convince myself that this "look" didn't mean anything because every day in my fourth period class even at lunch or at football games where I saw him, he would just be giving me this look with his eyes glowing and him giving me a sweet smile, which was in a way he looked at no one else. So I just started to fall for him. I started to give my own type of the "look" back to him and we would just be playing short of the staring game in our fourth-period class since our desks are arranged to where his and mine are facing each other from across the room. It just made me feel special and as if maybe I would finally have a chance with someone. Although of course, this kind of stuff is only in fairy tales and this is real life so here's where the fairy tale like state ends and reality kicks in.

I feel like the last time A really looked at me in a caring way was the end of April, which was before he was going to tour some universities that were out of state for the entire next week. It was lunch time and I was in the lunch line with a friend. My eyes like to wander towards his direction a lot at lunch. When I looked at him, he was already looking at me with a sort of sadness his face. I'm not sure if I'm correct, but it was almost as if he was trying to grasp the image of me in his head to take with him on his tour and as if he was going to miss not seeing me for a week.

When he came back he had made up his mind about where he was going to college. I'll just say it was an Ivy League university and it's pretty much the best university in the U.S.

Keep in mind A and I have never had an actual conversation because I'm extremely shy when it comes to talking to a crush and maybe he is too. So, of course, our staring game seemed to now bore him and it's now only me who can't keep my eyes off him. I mean he seems to glance at me every now and then but it's just not the same as before.

Since I'm going to stay in my state to go to a vocational school after high school, he'll be 3000+ miles away from me. So I think even though I regret not talking to him and telling him how I feel about him, it was better not making a strong emotional connection with him because we would have to break up anyway and that would probably hurt way more than this does. A is probably the most attractive and most intelligent person I have ever encountered so far in my life and I will miss seeing him every day very much. I wish him the best of luck in college.

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About the Creator

Ally G

A young confused soul

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