The Love of My Moment

About three months ago, I wrote an essay on someone who I believed I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I called him "the love of my life" and "the one". But just like most relationships, ours came to an end.

I do not regret writing that essay because, at the time, I meant every single word that I said. I truly and completely loved him. I really believed that we could overcome the distance. However, that was not the case. It became too hard for us. It took a toll on both of our metal healths, and we decided it was best to just remain friends.

"Friends", I think, is the hardest part of a breakup. It is such a gray place of not knowing where the "line" is. You know the line. The one where you don't know if hugging is pushing it too far, or when you don't know if you are talking to that person too much. It is a big scary place of constantly asking "is this too much?".

Breakups have never been, and never will be, easy. They are painful and heartbreaking and sometimes they make you feel like you can't breathe. However, I think the hardest breakups are when neither one of the parties want to loose the other. It makes it complicated to move on. And yet, somehow we all figure out how to.

I am not mad at Nick. He still means the world to me. I still love him. Moving on has been a struggle, but I think I have finally realized why God put him in my life: he taught me that some people are there to help you grow and when you are done growing with that person, you both have to move on and continue to grow without one another.

For 6 months, Nick was the love of my life. Now, he was just my love for that moment of time in my life, and I have never been more grateful. I think we all have the wrong idea about exes. I think it is okay to be hurt after a breakup, but we tend to forget what the relationship taught us.

I will forever be thankful for the memories. For the laughs, the stupid puns, the constant reassurance, and so much more.

We all have those people who were our "loves for the moment". They are a necessary part of finding the "love of your life". We all have more than one true love. And I believe that they come into our lives at the exact moments we need them too. I am just thankful I had such a wonderful person to help me learn how to love and helped me to grow into a better person.

Moving on has not been easy. I find myself comparing ever guy who shows interest in me to him. For the first month, I cut myself off from every guy who I started a friendship with. All I could think about was Nick. But hearts, along with many other things in life, heal with time. I went on my first date since Nick, and even though it didn't work out, I was finally starting to move on.

I am still trying to move on. Sometimes, I still cry over everything that could've been. But, I know that God put him in my life for the exact amount of time he was supposed to be there for. And for that, I will forever be grateful that I had my true love for that moment. Because in life, all we really have are moments.