The Love Story

I laid there that night, it was quarter to two. I laid there thinking about what I wanted out of my life. I knew I wanted to make something of myself. To be happy, to make my life mean something. There was nothing more that I wanted than to make someone truly happy. To just have the confidence to confide in someone and let them truly in and know everything that made me who I am. I went over many different outcomes. Both the good and the bad and the content. Each very different in their own way, but each all too similar and historically the norm of life.

The day before, I was texting my boyfriend it was our one year anniversary tomorrow. I was thinking about how special that day was going to be. I knew I wanted it to be a day that we'd both remember for years to come. Although, I wasn't quite sure how I was going to manage this. I didn't want it to be a moment to cheesy and like every other happy moment. But, I also didn't want it to be so over the top he didn't like it. I just wanted it to be something simple and very memorable.

Let me take you back to where it all began. It was the spring of "11." I was lost I didn't know what to do with my life. Everything was going so wrong. I was about to give up on love completely. I kept getting cheated on by my boyfriends. I didn't feel right with most of them. They just weren't the right match I guess.

Well, apparently fate had something else in mind. That day I was so depressed and this guy named Justin Jaycob added me on Facebook. I didn't know precisely who he was. I added him anyway. I knew the name, but it didn't click until a week after. He was one of my friend's neighbors. I talked to him my freshman year, it wasn't that long. We only talked for a couple days. I was very immature so there was nothing between us.

I never thought that I was going to end up falling in love with him; as fate would have it, I did end up falling for him hard and fast.

I wrote on his wall and one thing lead to another. It was just childish at first. Nothing too serious, but as time went by I felt a connection between us. We started texting each other all the time, talking about how our day was and anything and everything imaginable.

As time went on I started falling for him. He was everything I wanted in a man. Handsome, funny, charming, compassionate, protective, caring, great body, all in all a perfect guy.

I wanted to remain completely his, but at the time I was too worried about my own feelings. I didn't want to get hurt again. Like so many before him, they'd talk sweet until they knew you were hooked and then they would crush you like a bug under their shoe.

Everything felt like every other relationship I've been in. I'd think I fall in love only to find out the guy didn't really like me to begin with. I was always the one left there to overanalyze what happened and what went wrong.

So, I ended up pushing him away. I tried everything to get myself not to love him, but nothing worked. It was like my heart wanted him and only him, but I was too stupid to listen. My brain told me not to love him, so that I didn't get hurt yet again. I continued to talk to my exes and doing everything he told me not to do. I broke promises and was unfaithful.

After five months he had enough and he left a couple days before my birthday. It was horrible, everything I didn't want to happen happened. I truly fell for him and I was crushed. I honestly loved him after the time went by. I forced myself to believe that it was all just a dream that would ended as soon as I woke up.

One of my exes asked me out on my birthday and I sad yes cause I wanted the pain to go away but it never did. I couldn't stop thinking about him. He was always on my mind. I called my ex his name all the time and he got so pissed off.

A month or so later me and Justin started talking again and my ex found out and we broke up but we ended up going back out two days later. Just to break up four days later. This didn't help anything at all. I was hurt and terribly confused.

I didn't think Justin wanted a relationship with me anymore so I decided to date a freshman that didn't work out too well cause we broke up three days later. I just didn't feel anything with him. He was my rebound. I was just a friend to him, he never really felt anything for me.

During this whole time Justin was always there. I dreamt about him. I couldn't stop thinking about him I wanted him I didn't want an ex or a new guy, I wanted him. I finally made my decision and dumped my ex and focused on Justin.

Couple weeks later I finally got to meet him. I had butterflies the whole time. I loved it, it was one of the happiest times of my life. It started the relationship I wanted to have. Another couple weeks later me and Justin started dating. I was completely faithful to him I did everything I could to keep him happy. Although, I always found something that would ruin everything I worked for. He would get mad and I would cry and it felt like everything was over. Then it would get better. We saw each other at least once a week. We'd fight then make up.

My relationship with him was what I wanted. I loved him and he was the only one I wanted to be with. Granted everything about our relationship was disoriented. It wasn't a typical guy likes girl relationship. It was our own guy likes guy situation. Although, we fought way too much and everyone saw it. I chose to keep a blind eye to it and not care. I had the guy of my dreams. Who cared if we fought, all relationships had their ups and down. We just had a bunch of them.

About four days before our three months I gave myself to him. He was my first, and I wanted him to be my last. Everything was perfect. I was happy even if I didn't show it that often. I was truly content with my life, it was a relationship that I wanted. No matter how much we fought or argued, I was happy just to have someone that I could confide in.

Now let's go back to the present. I was laying there thinking about everything that happened in the past year all our arguments, all the compromises, everything.

I asked myself if he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I didn't even have to think about it. I knew automatically that he was. I meant he completed me. He was the one thing in my life that never truly left me even though I tried to push him away. I loved him. I was crazy about him. So, I decided to ask him to marry me.

A week before I went to the jeweler to get an engagement ring set that matched our promise rings. I had everything planned out. I knew what his answer was going to be, it was just the matter of asking him.

I didn't go to sleep that night; I was so nervous about the whole situation. I went to go see him and I did it quickly. I didn't hesitate to get on my knee and ask him. Of course he said yes. I was happy. I had my soulmate and in a month and a half my soulmate would soon become my husband.

That month passed by so quickly. I seemed like just yesterday I asked him to marry me. And now I'm the church waiting to walk down the aisle. I saw him standing there in his nice clean tux and I in my sharp crisp tux crying. In just twenty minutes I was going to be Mr. Samuel Paul Jaycob.

I walked towards him as I got closer my heart started to spaz out. It was horrible, I didn't know what was happening. Everything around me started spinning. I felt extremely light headed and horribly confused. The last thing I remembered was Justin running towards me as I fell.

After, that I blacked out and woke up in the ICU 2 weeks later. I didn't really remember what happened in the time between. Everyone tried to tell me what happened but, it was all so foreign to me. Nothing seemed real, I could touch things. They all seemed like they were all apart of a dream. Never to real nor to fake. Just there.

Someone said a name. I didn't recognized it at first but it took me a couple days to figure out that, the name that they said was mine. Apparently, I had lost my memory for a short bit. I of course regained my memory back not too long after I woke up.

About a week later, the doctors felt like I was recovered enough to leave the hospital and carry out my life. The first person who I saw and actually remember was Justin. He was standing there with tears in his eye and his arms open. I quickly ran into them like I always did when I saw him. He held me tighter then tight. It was like a dream all over again.

I never really did find out what happened to me. The doctors didn't know. They said it had something to do with my low blood sugar and a murmur in my heart. They couldn't explain why I lost my memory for a short time. They just said it was probably from the lack of oxygen when I blacked out.

Justin and I ended up picking our lives back up where we left them before I blacked out. I walked down the aisle once again. Staring at my teary eyed future husband. He looked rather dashing in his tux. I stood next to him and smiled at him. We exchanged our vows and said our "I do's". Then we kissed and what happened next is another story for a different day.