The Main Attraction

There is nothing like a warm, summer night date at the drive-in theater; car windows down, the mouth-watering scent of hot, buttered popcorn filling the air and children running through the gravel parking lot, occasionally getting clothes-lined by a speaker wire. I was eighteen and had been dating Bill for about six months. He was your typical Indiana farm boy, always clad in faded, Levi jeans, a button down plaid shirt thrown over a crisp, white muscle shirt and worn, leather cowboy boots. Like most of the guys in our small town, Bill drove a pick-up truck outfitted with a lift kit, chrome roll bar and sitting atop enormous, monster truck sized tires. Being a petite girl, at just over five feet tall, Bill had to lift me into the truck or I had to scale the beast myself.

I can't recall what movies were playing at the drive-in that night and for good reason. Before the end of the first movie, all eyes would be on us.

Just after dusk, every light in the lot dimmed and after singing hot dogs and dancing ice cream cones reminded us that the snack bar was open, the movie began. After adjusting the speaker sound to get rid of the crackling static, Bill slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me across the bench seat to him. Wasting no time, he kissed me passionately.

I placed by hands on his broad chest and pushed away, giggling. "Wow, can we at least get through the first five minutes of the movie?"

Bill gave me those pathetic, puppy dog eyes. "But I haven't seen you in three days, I'm horny." He took my hand and placed it on his crotch, you know, to prove to me just how much he had missed me.

I leaned in and kissed him, taking my hand off his lap and placing it on his neck. Things were beginning to get a little heated when suddenly, a girl's head popped into the open window between the truck's cab and bed. "Hey there! What's going on here?!" The girl sang with an ear-to-ear smile on her face.

"Who in the hell are you?" I yelled, still shocked by the absurdity of the interruption.

The girl winked at me, "Why don't you ask your boyfriend? He knows me." She pushed her petite frame through the window and grabbing the dash, pulled herself into the cab of the truck and plopped right down between the two of us. She wiggled as she tugged at the hem of her tee shirt, then smoothing it out, smiled and offered me her hand. "I'm Michelle and I'm screwing Bill too. Nice to meet you!"

I slid away from Michelle and up against the passenger door. I looked over at Bill and saw that he was staring down at the floor board of the truck. "What the hell, Bill?"

Head still hanging, he mumbled, "Um, I don't know this chick."

At that moment, I saw Michelle's cheeks flush, she turned to me and screamed, "Get out!"

Not wanting to have my hair ripped out by some crazy woman, I grabbed my purse and jumped down out of the truck. As I went to close the door, Michelle looked down at me and winked again. "Don't go anywhere Hun, I have some stories to tell you! Leave the door open, I want you to hear every dirty detail of this."

By this time, movie patrons in several rows around us had stopped watching the movie and had their eyes trained on the pick up truck. Michelle's voice could be heard over the movie and it echoed against the back fence, attracting even more onlookers. I stood there, looking down at the gravel, moving it around with the toe of my sneaker.

Every other work out of Michelle's mouth began with an F and ended with 'er, k or 'ing. She hopped down out of the truck. I was taken by when she threw her arms around me and hugged me. I just stood there, stiff, with my arms at my sides, utterly confused. With her hands on each of my shoulders, she pushed me away and held me at arms length.

"Did you see Bill last night?" She asked.

"No," I answered, "he had to work late."

Michelle threw her head back and cackled. "He worked late Monday and Tuesday too, didn't he?"

I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. "Well, yes. How did you know?"

She looked me in the eye and smiled sweetly, shaking her head. "I know because every night he told you he was working late, he was sleeping with me!"

"What?!" I looked past her and into the truck. Bill had his forehead resting on the steering wheel. "Bill! Are you kidding me? Is she right?"

Michelle put her arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. She raised her voice to the audience that now numbered easily one hundred. "And Wednesday night, when he showed up at your place late? He had just finished screwing me! Did he screw you too?"

I felt heat move up my body. My ears were ringing and my heart was slamming against my chest wall. At that moment, nobody in that theater existed but me, my cheating boyfriend and this insane young woman. I completely lost control of my faculties and the verbal assault began. "Are you f***ing kidding me? You have been seeing me and her? For how long Bill? How long have you been leaving my bed and going to hers?"

Bill sat up straight in the seat and raised his voice, "That bitch is insane! Who crawls through somebody's truck window when they are making out with their girlfriend?"

Michelle immediately screamed back, "Insane? You want insane, I will show you insane!" She grabbed the open door and started to scramble into the truck. "I'm going to kill you, you f***ing a**hole!"

Applause erupted around us. People were screaming random words of support; "You get him girl!", "I want to kick that boy's rear!", "What a pig!" Someone threw a bucket of popcorn at the driver's side window of the truck, showering Bill in an extra buttery mess.

Bill was insisting Michelle get out of his truck as she was nose to nose with him, telling him what a terrible human being he was. Several people had gathered around the truck. A smaller group had surrounded me and women I didn't know were putting their arms around me, hugging me and telling me I deserved better.

Once Michelle finished her verbal beat down, she slid down out of the truck. Applause again erupted around us. Michelle bowed and curtsied then took me by the hand. "Okay girlfriend, you're welcome to climb back up in there and finish your date. He is all your's now! Or, you can leave with me and let this loser go home alone."

I looked up into the truck again and Bill was leaning toward me and motioning for me to grab his hand. I walked over to the open door, smiled gently and reached for his hand and instead of taking it, I flipped him off and slammed the truck door. I looked at Michelle, and although I had just met her and thought she was a wee bit on the crazy side, I just felt she was a pretty amazing person not to mention someone with more guts than anyone I had even known.

I left with Michelle that night, encouraged by the cheers of a hundred complete strangers. It may have been the worse date of my entire life, but I had made a new best friend.

I never saw Bill again after that night, but Michelle and I went on to have many fantastic adventures, including double dates with guys who knew better than to ever cross either of us. #MyWorseDate