The Marriage Contract

I am an old guy. I have been around the block more times than I can remember. Even still, I thought about sitting at a table one night to compose my bucket list. Take part in an Olympic sport. Get my doctorate degree. Meet a Pope. You guessed it. I would put on it all the things I once fantasized about; things that seemed too far-fetched to accomplish. There is only one thing that will never reside on my bucket list—marriage. I'd have a much better time if I had put down "Walking on Mars on my list. I'd have a much better chance of reaching those goals.

PLEASE do not misunderstand me. I am not putting down marriage at all. In fact, I totally respect marriage and I admit that only the truly special people are chosen and called into the matrimonial bond, a bond that is supposed to last the duration of the couple's lifespan. Too few are called. Too few have responded.

Without question, the prettiest sight I have ever seen in my entire life is a bride. That's right! Any young lady who goes through the trouble to put on a wedding dress and head to a ceremony to marry some very lucky guy is more beautiful than anyone can imagine. I don't care who she is or where she is. When a lady becomes a bride, time stops for anyone in order to take in her beauty. After all, she consented to marry the guy who went through the trouble to ask for her hand. That is why we see wedding days.

Me? I am not married. SURPRISE! That is not to say that I never loved anyone. As I told people time and time again, the one that I really would have married is long gone past her lifespan. She died in 2008. After she passed away, I realized that I should have told her that I loved her and that I wanted to marry her. Well, that is now water under the bridge. I had my chance.

So, I am the casual observer. I look at people getting married and I don't know what to say. Sometimes, the feelings for a wedding just roll off my back like water on a duck. Other times, it just hurts to watch, especially if I know either of the participants. But despite my feelings, it makes me wonder about some guys.

Why do you cheat on your wife?

As you can see, I am going to look at this issues in terms of the guys. I think that it would be much better to examine the guy's cranium than the gal's cranium. This is not to say that women don't cheat, but in a marriage, I usually find that it is the guy whose eye starts roaming everywhere.

Guys, why do you cheat on her? Didn't she say that she would marry you? When you come home from a hard day's work, isn't she there for you? When you are hungry, sick or just feeling down, isn't she there to take care of you? Doesn't she listen to your boring stories from work or your endless corny jokes? What does she want in return? Does she hand you a bill for her matrimonial services? Does she demand all the gold in Fort Knox? Does she mock you? What?

The answer is simple. The ONLY one she wants is YOU. Proof? She took on your last name. She went from Miss to Mrs. She shares a home and a bed with you. She dreams of you even though you lie next to her. She could be in a room with a million other guys and all she sees is YOU. As Barry White once sang, You are "her first, her last, her everything!" You are her only thing. So, what gives?

I sometimes wonder if some guys are severely brain damaged when it comes to marriage. I mean, if you are going to go through the trouble of dating her, courting her, and then proposing to her only to step out on her from time to time, why did you bother? She is not some big game that, once you have her, you mount her head on a wall plaque somewhere and then go out to find another one. That is just not how a real man and a real husband acts. In other words, real men don't cheat.

Me? Well, I have become a cad. What is a cad? A cad is a guy who will see some lady somewhere whose heart has been ripped out and stomped on by the pig she married and steal her away from him. She will be in tears and hurt quite a bit. She won't admit the pain right away. She might even avoid talking with anyone about it. All I can do, however, is sit and talk with her, offering comfort. As beautiful as she may be, I cannot take her away. I can only be a friend and give her my ear.

Some guys just don't understand how truly lucky they are. She is your best friend of all your best friends. You secured her to your heart, but you take her for granted. I guess that, in your feeble brain, you figure that she will always be there no matter what you do, I guess that when you are tired of running around on her once in a while, you can just go home to three meals and a cot. It is so sad that you think that way.

Look at her. I mean, take a real good look at her. She is someone's daughter. She could even be the mother of your children. She is a very special lady. Think back to your wedding and all the sacrifices she made just for you. Didn't she look beautiful on your wedding day? She may have dropped weight or spent more money than she usually did just to look so beautiful for you. In fact, she was very beautiful before the wedding. That is why she caught your eye. Even the world's best beautician could not improve on her beauty. And she committed herself to YOU. She did not commit to me or anyone else. She pushed me aside figuratively and headed straight to your arms. And cheating on her is how you thank her? You need your head thoroughly examined, sir.

Guys, get it together. You give the rest of us a really bad name. But I want you to think about something and I mean REALLY think about it. From time to time, I go to a particular cemetery and stop at a particular grave. I tell her that I love her and then I cry. I know that she was the one who was intended for me, but I never took the time to tell her. Very stupid of me. Guys, you could easily have been me. Imagine waking up with a sadness that will never go away. Imagine the pain I feel when I see a happy couple who is about to tie the knot or jump the broomstick. Just imagine that you could have been in my situation. Hard to do? Well, take care of the one you have because she was created just for you. Love, appreciate and cherish her!

Well, I think I said enough. Time for me to continue the rest of my pathetic and meaningless life.......alone.