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The Marriage Union

Monogamous marriage has been a robust societal representation of perfection.

By Thomas KilianPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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There is a tradition among Catholics and an increasing trend among Evangelicals in American society to display a photograph where there are both a groom and bride, in white, raising together a unity candle in their hands over their heads. The core values that are demonstrated by these persons and the marriage event are unity, loyalty, and spirituality (particularly of the Christian faith).

Monogamous marriage has been a robust societal representation of perfection, particularity the union and loyalty between a male and female. The unity candle of the bride and groom pictured represents that there is an undifferentiated perfection that has split into two, male and female, and it is the goal of human beings to unite the two singular parts to reestablish the original ideal. To restore the original perfection is the goal of marriage from a spiritual perspective.

When a unity candle is, therefore, raised above the heads of the two in the union, the candle becomes a source of light, a source of enlightenment in the darkness of life, which represents something transcendent in marriage. In reflection to this, the event pictured above may tell us who is in charge in a marriage: the light, the greater good (the marriage and Christ who binds the union). Furthermore, the event tells us how we should live our lives subordinate to the greater good of all. The idea, therefore, is that in a relationship people should come together as one thing to promote not what is good for oneself or another, but what is good for all, the group or society. We should strive to be like this in a marriage relationship, or in any relationship for that matter. It creates equality among people and groups along with a structure by which order arises, and chaos diminishes.

You outsource most of your sanity because it is too complicated. If you are civilized enough that people do not shun you and you have people around you they will always tell you how not be too insane. If you are alone, you drift and drift towards your biggest weakness. Now, it is harder to have permanent relationships currently because of the amount of fleeting, casual, sexual "relationships" made available. The need to be with someone, or "one" in particular, is that you need a stable basis for raising children, and the substantiated manifestation that relationships are trustworthy. So there is both stability and utility in that. So you want to tangle your life with someone else. It is like two strands of rope: stronger in times of weakness. Two brains are good to have when life is complicated. It brings reality into your life; to have someone with you in this very long voyage. It deepens your life in a way that is not possible with fragmentary relationships as a single person.

Jacob of the Bible was renamed as “Israel,” meaning "He struggles with God" denoting that there is a context for contending. In this interesting perspective, in that a relationship you do not want “They live happily ever after” because you want someone to contend along with. Why? It is when you learn where you're an "idiot" and where you should “not be” and vice versa. That is the spiritual aspect of marriage, the fact that you have to contend with someone through all aspects and circumstances of life. It is the manner in which you encourage spiritual or physiological growth. That is why marriage is a sacrament; stamped both by the state and the "sacred authorities," per say, because it is not just a physiological union. Marriage has to fit into everything a human being is.

When you are in love with someone, you schedule your life around that person, as to make that person a priority. When you get married and accustom to one another, everything else becomes more important, and the relationship drifts to the bottom. People begin to look for adventure and excitement outside of the relationship. You cannot do that. You have to prioritize your relationship. From a clinical perspective, it takes a couple 90 minutes of conversation a week for a relationship to maintain. A discussion about their everyday lives (e.g., non-romantic talk): what they have been doing, how the house should be run; to keep their stories caught up. At least once a week there should be time reserved to be with each other. One "date" is necessary, and two is better, but the "date" must be realistic if it is going to be sustainable.

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About the Creator

Thomas Kilian

Non-Profit Administrator. Public Speaker. Professional Artist.

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