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The Mostly True Account of How John Tempton Ruined My Life

A tale of high school heartbreak and the lasting consequences. All names have been changed.

By Anisah EgelyPublished 6 years ago 13 min read
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This was written when I was 18, I am now 22.

I have been on this earth for eighteen years, and no one has disrupted my life more than John Peter Tempton. He might not have meant to utterly destroy me at first, but he did. The way he treated me, I don't wish upon any human being ever. I used to think John was my friend, now I wish I’d seen him as an enemy right from the beginning.

John lied to me. He lied about me. He broke my trust, he broke my heart; and somehow I believe he broke my sanity. He changed the way I see the world and the way I see myself. The worst part of it is that never once has he apologized to me for any of it. He doesn't feel any remorse for ruining my life.

Most people view John as just some nice guy who’s pretty sarcastic, but I see him for who he really is. John is an egotistical, narcissistic sadist. John is the coldest person I’ve ever met; his heart is made of stone. The only person he cares about is himself, and he’ll do anything stop himself from looking bad. He will never admit to doing anything wrong, or to not being perfect; he’d throw anyone under the bus before doing that.

John has made the past five years of my life excruciating. All memories from my adolescence will be shadowed by the overcast of his destruction. If I had a time machine, I would go back to the fall of 2010 and give that 14-year-old boy a kick in the ass. I would tell him to go apologize to 14-year-old me, give her a hug, and be her friend. I’d tell him how his actions from that point forward were still affecting me. Sadly, time machines don’t exist. So I have to live with what he’s done for the rest of my life. Will I ever get over it? I don’t know.

In 2006 when John dropped into my life, I wasn’t the least bit interested in boys. We were both in my uncle’s drama class, and all I knew about him was that he was a hyperactive ten-year-old just like me. I remember thinking he was funny. He went to the Christian school, so I’d heard a bit about him from my cousins.

We didn’t get to be friends until about two years later. In the fall of 2008, I began attending the Christian school, because I was bullied in the public school system, which is a totally different issue. John was no longer just a kid from drama, he was a classmate; however he was still of no significance to 12-year-old me whose only concerns were Hannah Montana and Mickey Mouse. You could say I was a bit of a late bloomer, seeing as I didn’t develop my first crush on the pastor’s son until the following summer. John was not at all on my radar—until the winter of grade eight.

John and I had both been cast in the school play, were teaching Sunday school together, and had all the same classes. We had gotten to be good friends, and were famous for constantly antagonizing one another. The day my life changed was February 17th, 2010; I was partnered with John for square dancing in PE. I remember it like it was yesterday, the weird tingle when he touched my hand, the butterflies in my stomach when he looked at me, and how much i was sweating!

That afternoon at lunch, my best friend and I were behind the school talking about Zac Efron. That was when I realized I was more excited to go to class and see John than I was about seeing the poster Alexis was about to pull from her pocket. So I decided to let it out, “Y’know…John is pretty cute.”

I was prepared for her to laugh, or tell me I was mistaken. It caught me off guard when she responded with, “Yeah, he is pretty cute.”

Now that I knew I wouldn't be shamed for my attraction, I decided to tell her. “I think I like him,” I blurted out.

“Really? Since When?” she asked with some shock in her voice.

“Since PE this morning,” I answered timidly.

“Huh, good choice. He suits you.” That was all I needed to hear. Affirmation. For a thirteen-year-old girl, of course the wisest person in the world is her best friend. And so my conquest began.

My life went on as usual, except I was obsessed. John loved that I loved him. I chased after him daily, and life was perfect; until my 14th birthday.

March 25th, 2010, I was the happiest girl out there. I was strolling through the mall with my cousin, Sally. Out of nowhere, she turned to me and said, “Do you really think it’s going to work out with you and John?”

“Well yeah,” I was totally surprised she would even ask such a thing. “We suit each other.”

“Maybe, but you have some stiff competition.” My heart dropped into my stomach when she said those words.

“WHO?!” I shouted in rage.

“Kara…" she said as if it was obvious. KARA? For real?! Anybody would be better than Kara. Kara was perfect, she was a dancer, she was blonde, she was normal. She was my worst nightmare.

“Seriously…” I sighed in utter disappointment.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I hear he likes her too.” Hearing that flipped something in my mind. I was born with some mental illnesses that would go undiagnosed until I was seventeen, but this is what you could call my trigger moment. In that moment, when I realized my dream guy didn't want me, my depression and anxiety were set into motion. I can’t remember a time after that moment in which I wasn’t depressed; but that’s not John’s fault, I was born that way.

From that moment on, I saw myself as a contestant in the John Games, and every other girl was my opponent. I spent that summer very, very sad knowing Kara had won this race, but I was determined to win the competition. John was going to be mine. That summer I thought of nothing but him, how I would win his heart, and what our future would be. Hours were spent crying over how badly I wanted this.

The anticipation of not seeing him for two months had made me extremely nervous to see him again. He had opted to get homeschooled for grade nine, so I wasn’t expecting to see him until we taught Sunday school together the second weekend of September. So after school on the first day I was totally unprepared to see him walking across the parking lot, towards my group of friends.

My heart was beating so loud I could hear it pounding in my ears. I became short of breath as he moved closer. After 74 days without him, he appeared to me almost angelic. I did not say a word to him, everyone else was talking to him, but I sat there in shock. Then he mentioned me, I don’t even remember what he said, but I remember him saying my name.

So I was a very happy child. I thought for sure this was going to be the best year of my life, and that John was going to fall in love with me. In reality, I was very awkward around him, but I did think I was winning his heart. Every time we got paired up in drama, every service with the kids, and every time he visited at school, I did my very best to be super funny and charismatic. I did not care about playing it cool.

I was unaware that John knew I liked him. I was also unaware that he thought I was being creepy. A lot of gestures will seem creepy if one person isn’t interested, but it is the responsibility of the one being pursued to let the other down easy. I did not see John for what he truly was yet, so I let him lead me on to make fun of me.

Looking back, I cringe. How could I have been so stupid?! I was too in love to see any flaws. I wish I had known what letting him talk about me like I was a stalker would still do to me now. Some time that winter I became aware of the fact that my love for John was anything but a secret. Everybody knew, and yet again, I knew nothing about how that would affect me four years in the future.

That spring, I was texting my cousin about the only thing I ever talked about: John. She asked me why I liked him so much and I began to list off a few reasons. Then she jokingly encouraged me to write a whole list, and I did. I wrote down 207 reasons why I loved John. Some reasons were legitimate and made sense, others not so much. Nearly every girl in my class got to look at it, and every single person knew about it. I was stupid to let people know about it, and even stupider to think John wouldn't find out.

This next part is quite funny in my opinion. God must have been laughing hard at the situational irony. After school one afternoon, as Alexis and I were exiting the building she asked, “What would you do if John found out about the list?”

“I would die if he found out,” I stated plainly, and at that moment John walked through the doors we were walking out of. I started to laugh because I was uncomfortable, Alexis started to laugh because it was funny, and John started to laugh because we were laughing.

As the laughter died down, John turned to me and said, “Oh hey, I heard about your list.” He shot me an arrogant smirk, and walked away. I don't remember what happened next very clearly, because my world seemed to be spinning, but somehow I’d gotten back to my locker; and I was watching John tell a bunch of people how he’d found out.

That was when it hit me that John didn’t care about my feelings at all, that I was just some weird girl, and the thought of actually liking me back was laughable. I was angry. I could feel my heart slowly turning to stone. I didn’t want this for myself; to become a masochist, to be in love with someone who just laughs at you, and tells people you’re crazy. That was the day John made me a villain, and villains don't get happy endings.

For the next few years, I tried to stop my feelings for John. How much I liked him added to his arrogance, and I would later come to realize that I had ruined him. The first time I tried not to like John lasted a few months, then to my disappointment, my feelings returned. the next time lasted a year, the entire time I was sixteen.

On the eve of my sixteenth birthday, John pissed me off like never before. We were leading Sunday school and he decided to keep reminding me how he would never want me. He would send boys over to me with messages mockingly saying, “John says he loves you.” I wanted to hurt him. I wanted him to know how I felt.

For most of that year, he continued to tell people I had a crush on him. (even though it was never a crush, I was irretrievably in love with him.) I once cornered him and said, “Stop telling everyone I have a crush on you.”

“But you do…” he replied, looking at me like I was stupid.

“Not anymore,” I informed him.

He looked down at me , puzzled. “Well, why not?” he seemed almost hurt. This was what I’d wanted. Of course he didn’t actually want me, but it bruised his ego to know that the lowest of the low was no longer interested. I had gotten my revenge, and I could see it in his eyes.

I thought about how to reply; Because you’re a jerk. Because you broke my heart. Because you make people think I’m crazy. But all that came out was, “I just don’t.”

That was the spring of 2013, and from that moment forward, things were different. John was acting differently towards me. He talked to me all the time, sat with me at lunch, and was constantly asking people where I was. When I had my tonsils removed, he must’ve looked down my throat seventeen times. My friends said he was obviously flirting with me. He wanted me to like him again, and big surprise, it worked.

I was smitten, and he had me believing he was too. I was once again dreaming of becoming Mrs. Tempton. Those were such sweet days, and ironically, they are what would turn me into the bitter person I am today.

In the beginning of the summer, we spent some time together, but never really alone. Slowly he stopped showing up and talking to me. Two weeks went by, then four, then eight, and by that time, I’d realized what had truly happened.

It had become clear to me that he was never interested, he just wanted his number one fan back. He always used to complain about me liking him, but he needed a girl driven crazy over him so that he could feel cool. He wanted to win back my affections to feel good about himself.

I was dreading my senior year. There was this crazy John thing, there were rumours flying, I seemed crazier than ever before. It started out terribly, and stayed that way for most of the year. The first six weeks were torture. I felt like everyone hated me, especially John. So I wrote him a letter. I explained to him what I had felt over the last four years, what I was feeling then, and how desperately I wanted things to be normal. Of course, he ignored it.

That was when I lost the desire to be with him, but not the love for him. I was having such a hard time forgiving him for the hurt he’d caused me, and I knew he would never see me as anything but an antagonist in his life. So I gave up.

November that year, I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression and chronic social anxiety. That made everything fall into place. It made sense now, why I would get so uncomfortable, so upset, so angry.

Now it’s November 2014. In the last year, I’ve gotten over John. Every now and then something deep inside me twinges with love for him, and I know I may never lose that, but I will never fall in love with him again. Because of him, I’m not sure I’ll ever find love.

John reacted the wrong way to my feelings. No guy should ever call a girl creepy, or a stalker, or make fun of her for being in love. John did that to me for four years. Everyone knows about it now, they’ve heard what John has to say, and now none of them will even give me a chance. Guys will trust what another guy says, so now I’m doomed to be by myself.

John has ruined my reputation. In the last year, it hasn’t worked out with two different guys, and that’s why. Anyone I ever meet is going to hear about this reputation somehow, and when they do, they’ll be sure to avoid me. John has robbed me of my happy ending. He has turned me into a villain. That is how John Tempton has ruined my life.

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About the Creator

Anisah Egely

I'm just a weird girl trying to figure out life... oh, and I'm an aspiring writer.

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