The Night I Got Cheated On...

You ever just get a feeling that something is wrong. That things are going on behind your back. That’s how I felt and that’s how I always felt. I must say the way that I went about finding the truth may make me seem crazy, although I had a right to find out the truth.

I’ll give you some back story first. This boy and I had been dating for four years. We had broken up a couple times, but we always came back to each other in the end. I had always had this feeling that he was messing around behind my back, but I could never prove anything. I can’t explain it, but I had this feeling that things were going on behind my back. I had a feeling I couldn’t trust him completely. I know you’re probably wondering why I stayed with him but that’s the thing—there were bad and good times and the good times outweighed the bad because I loved him so much that thinking about being without him hurt. I’m not going to sit here and say I never did anything wrong in the relationship because I did. I was crazy at times, controlling, obsessive over certain things, and even not understanding about giving him space. Although that is no excuse for what happened behind my back.

I’ll set it up for you—I had just gotten home from his house and I had this feeling that something was off. I decided to try to log into his Snapchat account and crazy enough, I got the password right. As soon as I got on there, it was right there—the proof of everything I had feared. Messages on messages between him and other girls. He had been snapchatting girls that I begged him not to talk to and he promised me he wouldn’t. I found Snapchats from his exes. I found messages between his best friend and him where he admitted to sleeping with another girl (one of my friends) ten times while he was dating me. I found messages where he had gone on a date with another girl until 3 AM the day before my graduation and went to my graduation the next day and acted like everything was normal. Messages where he admitted to getting nudes from random college girls while he was dating me. Messages where he told his best friend about this “amazing girl” he stayed on facetime with all night when he told me he was asleep. He had been lying to me for four years and made me look like a fool. He tried his best to make me look like I was crazy every time I tried to accuse him of cheating but now that I had proof, he couldn’t call me crazy anymore.

It was around 2 AM and I was reading every little thing I could find on his Snapchat. I tried to call my friend. She was sick though and couldn’t talk that much. I felt so alone because I had pushed everyone away for him. I sat there and thought about what I should do. I had no idea what to do because I couldn’t just sit there and take that. I loved him so much, he was my first love, and it had all been a lie. I felt so broken and destroyed. I got on my Facebook and deleted all the pictures I had of him on my profile. I got on my Instagram and deleted it—every single one of my pictures because during that entire time period, my life was a lie. I took screenshots of the messages so I would have physical evidence as to what I had found, and he couldn’t delete it. I had no idea how to go about talking to him about it, because after four years you must get an explanation. I didn’t go to sleep until 6 AM and I had to get up to leave for work at 9 AM. I was a mess. I started packing up his crap that I had at my house. I had completely lost my mind because of what he did to me. That was only the beginning of everything.