The One I Lost

This one's about the love I lost. We all have dated that one person that we instantly think is our person and we fall head over heels for them. Well I found mine then lost it. I met this guy when I least expected it, I also never thought it would happen. Now that I realise it, it was that summer romance. One night my friend said to me, "Hey you do you want to come with me, I'm going to pick up my friend?" I thought why not because, well, I had nothing better to do. We drove for about 40 minutes, we stopped to get food for him because it was his birthday coming up. When we got there, my friend parked the car and we waited; it was night time and incredibly dark. I sat in the passenger seat my friend sat in the driver seat. She started texting him back and forth saying we were there. He was hanging out with his friends smoking a cigarette.

When he found the car, he got in the back. I couldn't see his face, he couldn't see mine. The entire time my friend talked to him about how they were hooking up and how he has a girlfriend already and my friend didn't like his girlfriend. Anyway, we took him home and that was that never thought I'd see him again. Until one night my friend asked me and my current boyfriend at the time to meet up with her and the guy from that night. Of course I said yes. We all hung out for a little and that was that. My friend told me maybe a week later that she wasn't seeing him anymore; that's when he started liking my posts. After that we started talking.

Within the first week I knew I loved him, even writing this still hurts. He told me how he had messed up in the past and I told him I didn't care because everyone makes mistakes. Also, I didn't care because it wasn't going to change my feelings for him. I think that's what he loved the most. A couple days later we started dating. We hung out all the time, we did everything together. We spent all day together and we even spent all night together. Sometimes I would go home at one in the morning, sometimes I wouldn't go home at all. I wanted to do everything with him, even to the point that I woke up one morning at 8am told him to get up because we were going to the zoo. It rained that day. Even with it raining it didn't matter because he was there.

Then we started fighting, a lot over the stupidest things that I wish I could take back now because that wasn't worth loosing him. We both made our mistakes. I always forgave him for his. But one time I made a mistake that ended it all. He didn't forgive me. And to this day I still hate myself. I'll always love him, he knows that. I don't know if we were meant to split for a reason. But it's been almost a year now and it still hurts as much as it did then. I still sit here and cry. It's always going to hurt, hopefully one day just less. I wish it could've worked because he was my everything. Going from seeing someone everyday to never seeing them again has to be one of the hardest things that has ever happened. He was my best friend. Maybe one day it will all come back together, I don't know but all I can do till then is try and live my life without him. Even if that means still hurting everyday.